May 31, 2007

Pan-ic as ... Growth?

Dealing with incipient panic...I've done it all my life. I am still musing about Pan's Labyrinth. Watching this film about a young girl who faces fears that are unearthly as well as her Mother's desperately difficult pregnancy and her step-father's evil makes me believe that perhaps I can watch my fear like she did and live through it. I take whatever solace I can find as I become me.

Pan - Who is he, What is Panic

The word Panic comes from the Greek God Pan. A pastoral god of who inspired fear in those who were not used to pastoral settings. Wanderers in the woods, strangers who were lost...folks who "panic'd."

Pan, in Greek religion and mythology

Here is what the The Columbia Encyclopedia, Sixth Edition. Copyright © 2001-05 Columbia University Press.has to say about Pan:

(pn) (
KEY) , in Greek religion and mythology, pastoral god of fertility. He was worshiped principally in Arcadia, and one legend states that he was the son of Hermes, another Arcadian god. Pan was supposed to make flocks fertile; when he did not, his image was flogged to stimulate him. He was depicted as a merry, ugly man with the horns, ears, and legs of a goat. Occasionally ill-tempered, he loved to frighten unwary travelers (hence the word panic). All his myths deal with amorous affairs. In a famous tale he pursued the nymph Syrinx, but before she was overtaken her sister nymphs changed her into a reed. Thus Pan plays the reed, or syrinx, in memory of her. Later, when Pan was worshiped in other parts of Greece and in Rome, he became associated with the Greek Dionysus and identified with the Roman Faunus, both gods of fertility.

Pan's Labyrinth
Tonight I am watching a movie about Pan's Labyrinth. I love listening to the Spanish language. It is a beautiful plot filled with cruel realities of war in 1944 Spain. Here is a link for that as well. But for right now I am just going to watch, listen and learn. Peace now please.

Music and the Art of Hearing

Music and the Art of Hearing what isn't actually there yet. I do that all the time. I hear harmony to the main theme of a song. This talent is pretty disturbing to my kids who get stuck listening to me warble along with bands they like. I get shamed into not singing when the kids are in the car. But on my way home I tune along with various CDs I have...Waifs to Linkin Park to whatever is on the radio. Actually hearing in harmony is a skill I've been reading up on lately. There is a book called "This is Your Brain on Music," which for me as a band geek is just fascinating. From the physics of hearing -- does a tree falling alone in the forest make a noise -- type stuff to the syncopation that was so hard to learn as a french hornist in junior high school. No musician jokes please. No listening to them. No sir. More on the book later. But it is cool stuff, listening. And cooler stuff learning how to harmonize not only in music but in life. Peace please.

Obscure TV Show for the Day

Lately, I have been feeling as if I'd seen all the fuss and feathers that the newscasters spew out daily before. I thought I was imagining things I wasn't. Here is a show I loved to watch in 1987-88. It only had 14 episodes in the United States so I am really surprised I was able to coax the memory into my upper brain. Max Headroom was/is a worthy addition to geeks like me who loved the BladeRunner movie and other SciFi Robert S. Heinlein type stuff. goes:
Meet Max Headroom. His fan club on the web is at

Here is the information about the show:

YouTube Does it Again...Hertz Commercial

This is beyond hilarious considering I am pathetic at navigating when I drive.....

Eleanor Roosevelt ... and Letting Go of Inferiority

Who knew letting go was so essential? Not me, for sure. I learned last night that I am still holding on to the "mini-me" I was between 5 to 8. Halcyon days at 5 turned nightmarish at 8. No details per se, just impressions. And memories. I used to blame everyone else for the anger and concommitant pain and fear. But I am learning to be more like Eleanor Roosevelt--a much maligned figure of my youth which makes me wonder how the women of the 50's and 60's got her contributions so very wrong.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Eleanor Roosevelt quotes (American United Nations Diplomat, Humanitarian and First Lady (1933-45), wife of Franklin D. Roosevelt, 32nd US president. 1884-1962)
Similar Quotes. About: Inferiority quotes.

Yech Word of the Day -- Sanies

I just found my "Yech" word for today at

n. pl. sanies
A thin, fetid, greenish fluid consisting of serum and pus discharged from a wound, ulcer, or fistula.
[Latin sanis.]
sani·ous (-s) adj.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2003. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
ThesaurusLegend: Synonyms Related Words Antonyms
1. sanies - a fluid product of inflammation
festering, ichor, purulence, pus, suppuration
bodily fluid, body fluid, liquid body substance, humour, humor - the liquid parts of the body
gleet - a thin morbid discharge as from a wound or especially chronic gonorrhea

May 30, 2007


Tearing down to build up. Constructive destruction is as American as applepie. Look at Iraq. Look at any modern city. Look at any old city suffering because all the city folks want to go out to the new "box stores" to buy stuff. I guess, it's no surprise to me, really. Consider this...most of the colonists came to escape destruction in their home countries. From my own family running away from Scotland renaming themselves McGehees because they supported Rob Roy MacGregor and had their name taken away to Puritans who disliked the lack of religious freedom in England to others who came because they had to leave because of pogroms (aka ethnic cleansings). Don't feel you belong? Come to the U.S. of A... Or at least you'd used to be able to do that.... But don't forget what Groucho Marx said about Belonging and Membership...
“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”
Groucho Marx quote

Oh, the Humanity

Aging...needing to realize I have to get patent nostrums (look it up on here: to take care of various things I have which are wearing down, wearing out and generally being a pain in the ___. I used to think that those birthday joke presents at 50 were just gross -- not useful. I was so wrong.

May 28, 2007

Darth Vader/Skywalker and Family

Meeting the parent within us is a part of aging. At some point, we all say "Oh, My, God, I have become my mother." Perhaps it is when we look at our relationships with our kids, perhaps it is triggered by other quirks we have that are reminiscent of our folks. What is sure, however, is that at some point, this will strike all of us. So, our relationship with ourselves at that point hinges on whether we rejected our folks or whether we embraced them. Certainly, it requires that we be flexible enough to learn to embrace our humanity as mirrored by who we thought our parents were. My own folks? Alternately, I rebelled and then was proud of their eccentricity. Just as I am alternately rebellious of what is good for me as a person and proud of what is unique about me. Autodidact, geek, word nerd are what distinguish me from my folks. Impossible to tell me what to do because I don't want to hear it from one characteristic I got from my folks. So fighting against evil in myself because I am reminded of my parents is as futile as Luke Skywalker fighting with his shadow side Darth Vader. I am who I am. Embrace my weaknesses and let go of defending myself against weakness. So for me, learning to let go of self judgment is critical for me to maintain as I allow myself to grow from ... self hate into me. Peace please.

Budget Projects and Congress

Standing behind our children says the poster at the left. Hah! Our children will be digging out of this Republican budget disaster for years and years. Their children will be digging out as well. My kid was recently assigned a Budget Project for 8th grade. The project was scarey it reminded me that we all are supposed to live within a budget. We all are supposed to be able to afford the things we really truly need. However, if we overspend we go into debt. It is as simple as that. Why can't the U.S. Congress figure that out? When Congress overspends we all suffer. The inflated budget drives up the price of goods and services which affects us normal folks but Congress never feels the pinch because they vote pay raises for themselves. How can I afford to donate $$ to the Democrats when they have no clue what to do now that they are in the majority? They still act as if they were in the minority. Sheesh. Are we any better off with Democrats than Republicans? I don't think so anymore. None of them are any good.

Victory at ... What

I knew I would hate myself if I watched that classic, Victory at Sea. It is a marvelous documentary. But it reminds me of the America I used to know. You know, the one that had honor. The one that had enough plants at home to make all the war materiel for the effort -- from steel made in Pittsburgh, to cars, tanks and airplanes made all over the rest of the U.S. So today ... Memorial Day ... 2007. Perhaps America never had the honor I was taught it did back in the day. Sometime soon, I expect the clowns in office to decide that we need to invade Iran to distract the U.S. citizens that we are dishonorable as a nation. I expect that soon. Now that Congress blinked. Now that the Democrats who were elected to get us out of Iraq have refused to stay the course. Now that we hear more and more about awful things Iran does. And who do we hear those reports about Iran awfulness from? Media, executive branch, .... It is entirely possible we will go to war over a professor or over an IAEA report about nuclear development. I respect the troops. I do. I respect them enough to want them to come home to take care of the folks endangered by the lack of state guards and by the lack of materiel that went over to Iraq. It really is a shame that for us to fund the war in Iraq we need to depend on materiel made in other countries. If Homeland Security needs to look for security--perhaps they need to restart the one part of the military-industrial complex that doesn't exist here anymore in outsourced America. The industry. But then it would not be good for the bottom line of what the stockholders expect from Wall Street, would it?

May 26, 2007


Five for Fighting lyrics: I bruise you/you bruise me/we both bruise so easily...These are amazing lyrics. I am envious. Where do these lyrics come from? Back in the day, bubblegum pop tunes ruled. No thought needed for lyrics, just beat. Perhaps that was all we could handle back then when to think meant considering whether the Russians would attack, whether we would be vaporized in the hallways of schools or under the desks. And with the arguments about whether G*d existed or not, then where would the dead go? So no, my generation danced to forget the fear, not because they had the lyrics.

May 25, 2007

Times Change

While I wish we didn't have to rescue animals, Virginia has a wonderful website which does list when someone finds a herd or animal in distress. And they welcome input from rescue groups. So the world is coming closer together -- for rescue groups and for animal management groups which are normally many lightyears apart.

Feelings and Listening

My conclusion about pain today, after 5+ sessions with my un-crinkle guy, is that pain for me is a concept...a belief or a mental habit, if you will. If I think I hurt, then I hurt. And it doesn't really matter what will trigger that thought that I hurt. Good things happen, I hurt. Bad things happen, I hurt. I find I hurt most when I am trying to stay away from people. Ummm, I did mention that I find people only slightly less scarey than childhood nightmares? So to keep myself safe from people, I create barriers to closeness. Pain works well for that. Headaches are terrific reasons to stay at my desk during lunch or at home after work. Panic attacks when I get stressed out. So now my homework from my various coaches is to stay calm when I sense a panic attack threatening to engulf me and to just say hi to whatever part of me is starting to experience panic as pain. And stop to listen to what really is bothering me.

It's a Good Thing...

Today's NPR report on foodstuffs we receive from China is extremely disturbing. I mean the pet food recalls were just the tip of the iceberg. Now it seems that China's exports of foodstuffs to the U.S. are contaminated as well. And because the rate of exchange has been artificially held to a historic low in China, it has been much cheaper to have Chinese goods rather than pay U.S. producers for their food or vitamins. Add to that the shortage of FDA inspectors and we can expect more and more contaminated food coming to our very own tables. Sheesh. Globalization never was a good idea. Now it is deadly. It's a good thing I decided over the past few years to start cutting down as much as possible on medications. It's also a good thing I have never been much interested in food. Now if I can just find organic grocers who know where they get their products from I will be in good shape, I think. Sheesh.

Connecticut Witchcraft

The U.S. today seems to be on a witch hunt of historic proportions. Only the witches they seek are called terrorists. If I am to believe, the FBI and others foiled a plot to blow up the fuel lines at JFK Airport in New York which would have been devastating. If this is true, it is well and good. However, it is a sorry state of affairs when I am suspicious of something that seems on the surface to be a good thing. But there you go. I have learned that the administration has ways to make threats seem real just before they launch us as a nation into yet another war. My first blush of relief at hearing this news came to a screeching halt when I subsequently heard that the "authorities" were assisted by a "tipster" who had "gone undercover" into the group plotting this heinous act. Undercover agents traditionally have a problem. How passive are undercover agents? Or rather, are they agent provocateurs? I think back in the history of the Connecticut witchcraft troubles back in the early settlement of New England. See, for example, Many were charged with witchcraft. Notable among those charged were widows with land on the edges of the towns. Widows with land who dealt with healing, with Indians for herbs. Admittedly, there was a lot of fear of Indians because of the various Connecticut Pequot Wars. There is some speculation that Connecticut's witchcraft charges grew as the population grew and the need for land that was cultivated and Indian free became critical although those facts are tougher to document. And just as those agent provocateurs alleged witchcraft against the women living on the edges of the towns, perhaps it is a lesson to us about today's allegations. I am just not sure what the truth is today.

Myofascial Syndrome

One of the reasons I write about myofascial syndrome so much is that it is such an orphan syndrome. It is the Rodney Dangerfield of the chronic pain syndromes. Not written about as exhaustively as fibromyalgia or arthritis, it is just as difficult to deal with. Perhaps more, because it is underrated by fellow pain sufferers as a garbage pail diagnosis. I went through three neurologists, one brain surgeon, and the Johns Hopkins neurology department before finding my neuro-ophthalmologist who diagnosed what I had. It doesn't seem to matter to fibro folks that President John F. Kennedy had myofascial syndrome. We just don't get no respect. So I write to explain what I go through hoping to help others who are searching for what the heck is making them hurt so much. Raising awareness as well as writing to heal myself.

Accents and History

Mind you, folks, I am no scholar on this subject of regional accents but as a resident of Ohio and a descendant of the early Western Reserve Connecticut settlers I speak from experience. Here is link: Northern Ohioans speak with an almost regional-less accent. In fact, many become broadcasters just because they are understandable by all regions of the U.S. I grew up in the Firelands area of the Western Reserve. A lovely area but extremely turbulent for the early settlers. Now Southern Ohioans have a distinct accent popularized most notably by the Jimmy Dean Sausage commercials "Down on the Farm." These two particular accents are a direct result of the western movement of the survivors of the Revolutionary War who wanted to get land of their own. Southern Ohio (south of Columbus) was settled by folks from Virginia. Northern Ohio was settled by Connecticut folks. In the case of Northern Ohio, particularly in the case of the Firelands, those settlers were survivors of the notorious British burnings of Connecticut towns during the Revolutionary War. So today, if you happen to look at the names of the towns in the Ohio Western Reserve, you will see many Connecticut town names echoed. Connecticut gave land grants to its soldiers and to the survivors of the burned out towns in this "Western Reserve" area. Talk about your government swindles. Not only were the folks displaced from their homes in Connecticut, when they got to Northern Ohio, they discovered they had to fight again for their land to get it from the native Indians they had to displace. See this site to the Indian Wars of Ohio. In particular, search for the term Blue Jacket. Sigh. Men are born and die but corruption lives forever.

May 24, 2007

Holding Paws

I am holding paws with a sick cat this morning. Freckles is taking medicine to deal with something he has going on. And he feels pretty punky. We (he and I) are waiting to go in for x-rays and other diagnostic tests to find out just exactly what it is. Thank god for pet insurance. Meanwhile, he seems comforted to have me hold his paw. I am honored by his trust. In sickness and in health...

Modest Proposal on ...

As a sometime rescuer and volunteer at a local no-kill shelter, I often think that this particular animal needs to be explored for those folks who want to adopt without the bother of adapting the dog or cat to their homes. There are dogs who look real as well. This would be a sure fire way to get rid of those who want the idea of owning an animal without the bother of vet visits, medications, walking them or cleaning litter boxes.

May 23, 2007

Can I get Fries With That Cat?

This picture is just too cute. I got it in an email so.....had to share it, of course. Enjoy!!

Here's Looking at You, Cats

Otterly Awesome Photo

Pretty Pretty

Wish I knew how these developers do this fractal stuff but this is just a gorgeous image from

Take Two Laughs and ...

I was looking up a quote I remember about cultivating habits that Twain wrote. I remember it because he said to make sure you had lots of bad habits because then you always had on you could give up if your doctors ordered you too. So far no luck finding it but I did find this treasure trove of quotes at:

The Fine Art of ...

Planting ... it is finally Spring this year. No more teasing, no more confusion. Cool nights, warm days, good basking weather. Good growing weather. Much as I envy my neighbors who rush around mulching and putting in annuals, I don't have a green thumb. I plant words instead and watch them grow into ideas and then into something more when I write. I plot, plant, rake the weeds, water and fertilize them with links to what others have written on similar topics. At the moment, on paper, I have a pretty good garden.

May 22, 2007

Ok, Words

Ok, folks, truth time. The reason I am a bug about words is that I misuse them intentionally too. In a sense of whimsy I reassign meanings to established words. My favorite was turning the word loom into luminous (or perhaps loominous) to describe a woman who was much taller than me at 8 years old. I don't think my mom ever got over that useage. But creative as I am with words, I am uncomfortable with words like "surge" and others of that ilk.

May 21, 2007

Waiting for Emotions to Catch up to Thinking

Wanting for nothing but still feeling empty. Isolation is no fun. I make mild fun of myself for having no close friends but it is no laughing matter. I laugh at people skills but envy those who have them. Some of my skills (fact ferreting, animals, rescue) come naturally but people are a place on my interior map marked "here be dragons." I am finally coming to grips with the fact intellectually so with luck my emotions will catch up. Until then Peace

Blame the WeatherChannel

Civil Twilight. What a concept! What a country!!! Here is the link. My very first thought was to wonder what the heck civil had to do with twilight. My next thought was to google it to see if it was not some sort of end run around the language again. It is definitely food for thought. There are astronomical twilights, civil twilights and nautical twilights. My mind is boggled by google.

Waffling on Words

I love words. I absolutely do. But made-up words make me a little nuts. Obviously, surge is one of those words. Mindfulness is another one when it is used outside of its Buddhist meditation context. Others like wellness don't bother me quite so much because I have gotten anesthetized to it. And that makes me wonder what other words are modern Mis-Uses of the original word that seem normal to me now. And like Professor Higgens with Eliza Doolittle: I've grown accustomed to them now. They only irritate me now and then.

Did the Roman Empire Have to Deal with This?

As the commercial and industrial war complexes so casually destroy habitat for other creatures on the earth, overharvesting fish, overusing coal and oil supplies, warring over who has the rights to profit from lumber, mineral rights, intellectual property rights, we all lose so much. Sure, as a stockholder, I get returns from stocks that sell well. Recently, however, I was surprised by my broker who averred that by investing in Green Stocks I would not profit as much. So perhaps I can console myself with re-reading the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire....

Meeting Myself Each Day

I am really humbled by the fact that every day I wake up I am a different person. I don't look different outside, but inside every part of me is changing. From mental attitude to physical ability, it is a whole new ballgame each day. And I never know from one day to the next what the challenges will be for that day. For today, it is letting go of who I thought I was and beginning to learn to live with who I am this day, this hour, this minute, this breathe.

May 20, 2007

Old Songs and Vet Visits

Old songs by the Mills Brothers' and vet visits seem lightyears apart, don't they? But their song, You Always Hurt the Ones You Love, seems especially appropriate tonight. I took the cat for a vet visit yesterday. My shoe loving, dishwasher exploring, semi-feral cat was sick so off to the vet we went. Freckles, the cat, is such a great cat but such a fighter. At least the staff at the hospital knows that it will take 4 attendants, several blanket wraps and much patience to extract information from him. And thankfully they do this testing out of my sight. I become -- well -- tense. I must have mentioned before that I hate needles. But I hate sick cats more. So now we are back home with a bottle of pills and an instruction to call tomorrow to let the vet know how he is doing. Sigh. The last time I had a sick (really sick) animal friend it was my Newfoundland dog who developed intestinal cancer. Fingers crossed, this is not that. I will just keep muttering to myself, "It is just a cat thing. Just a cat thing I have no name for...yet. And it is all going to be ok." Sigh.
May all beings be blessed.

May 19, 2007

Rescue Today

Rescue is a huge antidote to the quiet Saturdays I have been having. Here is a great shot of pup we rescued last year. Much as I love the rush, I am hopeful that the No-Kill Advocacy movement starts getting a foothold in areas of the country that refuse to believe in contraception. The only way we as rescuers can relax is when and if there is a nationwide law requiring any rescue animal be neutered. Any rescue, anywhere. And then going further and requiring any animal owner gives proof of neutering their animal. Of course, there will be exceptions for those who breed for show, who breed to preserve the breeds they love. And there will be required programs for those who want to adopt animals from breed clubs to educate them in exactly what kind of animal they are buying. Perhaps membership in a breed club should be required prior to ownership. Perhaps this sounds draconian. But after today's run with a pregnant mom dog and her puppies who were going to all be put down in a shelter down south, I just gotta think the shelter system is broken because cases like this are just too sad. And tragic because it is preventable, folks. Sigh. It is just too sad.

Evolving from Moody Blues

Moody Blues -- I used to love listening to them. Back in the day, the band was one of the first to combine orchestral music with rocker elements. Powerful stuff in the move away from the Elivs/Beatles steady drumming. Powerful stuff for its time. But I guess I have moved on because I actually demand lyrics and profound apologies -- but Moody Blues lyrics sound so lame today. Today I spent time on a rescue run listening to their album and I kept moving from song to song. Dissatisfaction, distraction, distancing myself from them. Instead, I put in my daughter's album of Sick Puppies which was much more satisfying. Rock on, bloggers,

Might does not make Right

Arrogance. For many years I have told myself that I am the victim in all the things I have lost. Today, I realized, that what I have accused others of having, I have too. And I am humbled by that realization. For many years, I found solace in blaming others for what I lack. And I have been stuck in that blame. It is easy to blame and not look at my part of causing loss/lack in others. From the litter of puppies I told myself would help keep my 20+ year marriage together to the events of every other time I have lost love, my part in it was hidden to myself. I have been quick to flinch from the authority of those who actually are in authority -- judges, bosses, even doctors. I have been quicker to say I know what I am doing -- even when I don't -- because to admit incompetency is a long fear of mine. Admitting, honestly, my part is part of my path today. Admitting and expecting no return from it. Admitting will not bring back dead dogs, dead marriages, kids who lost me as a stay-at-home mom because I couldn't trust staying at home in a marriage that MIGHT fail. Might, might, might does not make right. It makes for bad decisions. May all beings be blessed.

May 18, 2007

DeFragging Muscles

When does anger end? Never unless it is consciously let go. I have stored rageful resentments, adult anger and kid-sized pouts for years in my body. I am now seeing muscles as a sort of a human computer in serious need of daily de-fragging. My somatic coach (AKA the un-crinkle guy) really helps to de-frag old issues of mine. Mind you, I knew I was doing something with the frustration because I have always and always said I stored issues too big for me in my left toe. And then I would wonder why I limped around. Hah!! My mom would laugh at me. She used to quote an Irish blessing about this to me:

May those who love us love us.

And those that don't love us, May God turn their hearts.

And if He doesn't turn their hearts, May he turn their ankles,

So we'll know them by their limping.

All I know is that mom is smiling above me....right now.

So Happy Mother's Day, Mom!!!!

And for more blessings see

Global Warming Tourists

Gah! I knew it would come to this. Now there is a tour going to Alaska so environmental tourists can see the glaciers before they melt. It was in an ad in the Nation magazine. You'd think the editors who put these things together would have laughed it out of the magazine. You'd think the organizers of the tour would have realized that they cause environmental damage by advocating this trip. You'd think, but you'd be WRONG. When, when, when will people "GET" it? The polluters you complain about may actually be YOU.

And the Topic is Stress: Words of Wisdom

I got this in my In-Box today. Another reason to check email


A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience,
raised a glass of water and asked
"How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter.
It depends on how long you try to hold it.
If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management.
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,
as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.
When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow."

Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can.
So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now.
Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.

Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

*Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.*

*Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.*

*Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.*

*Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.*

*If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.*

*If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.*

*It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply be kind to others.*

*Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.*

*Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.*

*Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.*

*The second mouse gets the cheese.*

*When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.*

*Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.*

*You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.*

*Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once. *

*We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.*

*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.*

Have an awesome day.

The Heck with Waiting for Godot

Waiting for Godot was one of those philosophic forays into the 20th Century angst for Where is G*d? Even though playwright Beckett denied this. Here is the page on it. My reason for mentioning it is as a legal secretary I have been waiting for that virtual secretary to replace me. And now that day is here. My firm has now contracted with a group in North Dakota to provide virtual administrative and secretarial assistance to our attorneys. Oh, of course, it is being soft-pedalled to us old timers as a huge help because this firm offers 24/7 service and is available anytime, any weather, whatever the project to the go-getter generation. Maybe this is another variation of the old joke series of ___s never die they just ... so perhaps this is where old secretaries go? For a good laugh about the old ____s, So for me, I just guess I will take two laughs and start looking for employment that doesn't turn into bottom line economics.

Angel and Lorne

Why the Angel series continues to rock my soul ... is no surprise to me. The show just hits on all the notes in the scale for me...passion betrayed, redemption, coming to life, change, music as a force for good. Why this show got cancelled though continues to elude me. The writing was just as awesome as the current show Heroes and the soon to end Sopranos. The themes are just as profound. All I can surmise is that the bottom line of advertisers and their need to show a profit to shareholders caused the show's downfall. Mediocrity in tv is not new. But it seems more rampant in these days of bottom line, lowest common denominator entertainment. Smut sells, thought does not. It is especially sad now when all of us need to be reminded of these issues of redemption, change, justice and mercy to guide our actions.

May 17, 2007

Oh, Joy!!!

Here is a new website to me. I am such a geek. I love stuff like this. Love it.

Surging -- Grrrr

When I heard the newest deployment of troops to Iraq being called a "surge," I had misgivings. Not only was it a misuse of the word, it implied not only the nautical influx of water but also the ebb and flow of the tides. Here is the full free dictionary page on what surge really means. Please note that no where in there, not even in the thesaurus section, do we ever refer to military deployments as surging. It is a made up mockery of a word which fits considering the Iraq adventure was/is a made up mockery of a war against terrorism. And here is the latest from Reuters about the Iraqui puppet democratic government government's ebbing into oblivion. I am ticked off about this whole war and its blatant misuse of language. We no longer call these kids soldiers. We call them troops. We no longer call a spade a spade today. Deaths morph into casualties. Suicide bombers are not counted among the dead. Losses are minimized. Back in the day when I first heard discussion about going into Iraq, I also heard rather good arguments for getting an interim government ready prior to going in. There were some candidates with ties to the Royal family that Saddam's regime (with U.S. help) ousted years ago when he took power. Don't believe me? Here is a link to a page on Richard Helms, former CIA chief. I thought that those royals (even with the criticism that no one wanted them) would have been better than to make this stuff up as we went along. Here is a link to an article on that issue. But the genie is out of the bottle now.

Lesson for the Day reprinted from

Accept everybody as an expression of the One. It is not your place to judge.The card in the Lesson position represents the personal investment or sacrifice required to derive full benefit from your current situation. When the Ace of Cups is in this position, you are called upon to reject the dominant self-centered worldview. Learn to see every person you meet as an opportunity for connection. Notice the qualities that have triggered feelings of separateness, judgments, aversion, and resistance in you before. You are challenged to see these as your own projections, and to forgive them in yourself as well as others. This will energize mutual support and cooperation towards the greater good. Sacrifice that part of yourself that wants to be superior. All souls are equally flawed and equally beautiful. Let go of perfectionism. Unconditional acceptance and focusing on the good is how we mend the psychic, spiritual and emotional web of family and culture.

This is so true.

May 16, 2007

Ghost Hunters Makes No Sense

What bugs me about Ghost Hunters and most of the ghosthunting genre is this: The hunters go hunting at night. Sheesh. In a haunted house, a truly haunted house, you get a feeling about it during the day as well. You get animals reacting to entities. You get bunches of clues about something, someone being there. Sheesh.

Brother Orchid & Edward G. Robinson

This is a 1940 film about how a mobster, played by Edward G. Robinson, finds the good life in a California monastery and renounces his evil ways. This is just a wonderful film. It has Humphry Bogart as another arch-enemy mobster who causes Robinson to go into the monastery in the first place. After Humphry Bogart and his cronies are defeated when Robinson comes out of the monastery to deal with a woman he thought initially betrayed him...Robinson returns to the monastery with the classic lines that he had gone all over the world searching for class. He had thought class was gained only with dames, money and fancy clothes. Only now he realizes that class is an inside job. That is so true for me in all aspects of my life. So true. I never started to be fully happy no matter how hard I looked for happiness outside myself. Once I turned inward (for many reasons) I realize now that happiness/class was inside of me all the time. I just never saw it. Sheesh, why don't they make eyeglasses for the soul.
Hugs for now.

Phantom Feelings

Phantom Feelings happen whenever my un-crinkle somatic coach works on a group of muscles that feel dead to me. Prickly, prickly, prickly sensations start unfolding from muscles that froze however many years ago. I feel like a porcupine today - a day after our last session. It is almost as if the last group of muscles is still triggering responses to the work. And believe me it is work. I am beginning to be reacquainted with my physical self so I do know from where I speak when I mentioned earlier that we Americans refuse to recognize our physical/animal selves. Perhaps denying our animal-ness, it is easier to eat slaughtered meat. Perhaps it is just a part of modern life where we don't have to engage our physical selves to get to work. We use cars, bikes, trains, subways more often in urban areas. All I know is that I am beginning to unfreeze and that is an interesting indescribable feeling for me -- best categorized as relief.

My Great-Aunt Peggy

Whenever I feel out of step with life, I remember my great-aunt Peggy who used to write novels in Latin and discourse about the Society of the Antiques and Horribles. I loved Aunt Peggy for her dogged devotion to eccentricity. It is my belief that eccentricity is a wonderful attribute. And it is dying out in today's hustle and bustle. New England readers probably know more instictively than I ever will about the parades of the Antiques and Horribles but for the rest of us here is a link to (pages 8-10) which is an article about the historical development of the parade. I recommend it as a fascinating read. The link takes you to the whole article but just search for the phrase "Antiques and Horribles" which was the name of the unit marching in the July 4, 1876 Centennial Parade. That actually makes some sense given my memory of Aunt Peggy because she was born within spitting distance of 1876 and no doubt was reared on that July 4th celebration for many years. I honor her and all those who march to the sound of a different drummer.

Cool Name for a Syndrome

Cool name for a syndrome lots of folks are more alert to than they were when I was born. Dandy-Walker. When I was diagnosed with it in the last 2 years, I laughed. It is a silly sounding name. And it is hard to find decent information about it. So if you have a kid who has it, or, if like me, you were not severely affected and were identified as an adult with it, don't freak out. Instead, be happy that there is actually a name for that amorphous thing that has dogged your every step since birth. I love finding things that explain why I get headaches in my eye or why I am more prone to stumbling. All I can say is if you have issues with health, keep reading online, keep bugging your doctors and keep the faith. Blessings...on technology for allowing laypersons access to vital information. We may never get it any other way.


Here is a link on transcendentalist poets just so we are all on the same page. I know I hate it when people use terms I am not familiar with and so here you go.

Chipping away at Identification

I am a sometime advocate for microchipping people. After 9/11 and the devastating hurricanes of 2005, it certainly seems like a good idea to do for people as well as animals. But...I am sure there are powerful arguments against microchipping people. I microchipped my cats but I believe I am in the minority on that score as well. I used Avid Microchip when I got my cats 'chipped. Why are Americans so into freedom that they don't mind losing their cats, dogs, kids and family through events like 9/11 or the 2005 hurricanes? Rhetorical question, folks. I suspect it has to do with who settled America originally and perhaps not so much with the people who are actually here now. Sigh.

Murine -- Is not Always Eyewash

I just found a nifty new word...murine. After some fiddling about with the google questions -- I use it like the magic 8 ball -- I found that murine is actually a subcatagory of house mouse or wood rat used in lab tests. Here is a link to murine.
And here is a picture of a cute mouse -- I am a fan of mice actually even though I have cats.
I like this little fellow and feel bad that rats, mice and other animals are used for laboratory purposes. It seems a shame to kill to test something out. So I am rooting for whatever we can do to find alternative ways to test products before they go onto the market. In my own little way, I try to buy items that clearly state they were not tested on animals. But that phrase 'not tested on animals' in and of itself troubles me. Humans are the only animal that refuses to recognize themselves as animals. And as all the self help books say, until you admit to yourself what you are you cannot find either help or serenity.

Sortes Sanctorum for Today

The medieval concept of casting a prediction by using the Bible is called sortes sanctorum. I first ran into the concept when I got hooked on Ellis Peters' Brother Cadfael series. I love the idea of searching for answers to knotty problems in life by randomly opening a book. Here is link for those who desire more knowledge on the technique.

The books I use for this prognostication technique vary. Today's book is "The Essence of Zen - An Anthology of Quotations."

Truth is within ourselves; it takes no rise
From outward things, what'er you may believe.
There is an inmost center in us all,
Where truth abides in fullness.

Interestingly enough, this is a quote from Robert Browning even though it is in the Zen book. Which only goes to show that some concepts (From Ellis Peters' Brother Cadfael series, to transcendentalist poet Robert Browning to Zen) are universal.
Be at Peace everyone.

May 15, 2007

Just when you think it is safe...

Think someone is gaining on you? You might just be right. Here's what showed up the afternoon I took a picture of an old sumei painting of mine so I could show it to my sensei at Ekoji.

Somatic Clues to Health

In my quest to un-crinkle myself, I am learning how to trust my physical self. As someone who lived exclusively above the neck, I have no idea how I stand, how I walk and how I store emotions inside. Here is a link that may help me catch myself before I do some habitual posture. Hope it helps ...

I Think, Therefore I ... Listen to Music

I think I must have been a minstrel in a former life. Not only do I love music generally, I love this generation's music for its' lyrics. These current lyrics are not the bubble gum stuff I heard in the 80's and they certainly are not Elvis wannabees. They are better in many ways than the Beatles (although I am sure to catch some flack for disloyalty). I listened to the White Album again after many years and was disappointed. I wasn't expecting to be disappointed, mind you. I was expecting to revisit old friends. But I seem to have changed over the 40+ years since the Beetles first hit the Ed Sullivan show. And change is good.

Chambered Nautilus or Lasagna as a Life Model

You know, folks, Anne Morrow Lindbergh made a wonderful comparison between the stages in a woman's life with the chambers in a nautilus. While I love the analogy, I lean more towards the less organized but more filling model of a Lasagna. I know I have life experiences and stages but at least for me they are layered like a lasagna. All I need to do is dive into my memory and get to the right layer. Bliss.

Does Your Rear View Mirror Scare You?

If you live in the D.C. area you know instantly what I mean. There is always a truck or crazed busdriver tailgating me. There are always random cars switching lanes or cars refusing anyone to move over into their lane. Add to that the Tourist Buses who are a menace in and of themselves and the situation goes critical fast. So as I looked in my rear view mirror today to avoid an accident, I had a ephiphany. Driving down the highway looking in the rear view mirror is a lot like getting caught up on dwelling on something that happened to me many years ago. If I get stuck looking back, I can't see what is coming up fast, and I can't make sense of where I am right now. So enjoy your present. It is the only moment you have.

You Know When

You know when you spend too much time commuting in your car. At least in my car it is pretty clear. First my car floor disappears under food wrappers and map printouts. Then my bumper gets covered with stickers proclaiming my allegience to rescue, to peace, to whimsey, to zen koans. Then my rear view mirror looks empty so I put a blue dolphin air freshener on it. And finally, just today, I caved into a primal impulse and put a hula doll with a blue skirt on my dashboard to gently sway as I negotiate my way through the what we laughingly call traffic in the D.C. Metro Area. I say laughingly because in D.C. there are just two speeds -- murderously fast with people tailgating at 75 miles an hour in a 65 mile an hour zone or a parking lot.

May 14, 2007

Writing Encouragement Website

Then there is Jennifer Stewart's NeverEndingStory link as well on her website. Writing for fun like this is a terrific way to break through dread-lock. Dread of the empty page locks the mind.

Hugs and may you have an easy sleep.

As I write myself well

Write yourself out of yourself...write yourself well. Remember that each day without sharing yourself (either in words, songs or dance) is a day that the world becomes a little poorer. I used to think I was a really good writer. Now I know that while I love to write, I have lots left to learn. So I pull up books by authors I love and underline words and passages that leave me breathless. And that's what I try to do here in this blog. To write so that when I read it back, I feel I am talking with an old friend. Peace everyone.

Sick Puppies -- not what I thought...


Snails as ... Revelation

Anne Morrow Lindberg's book "A Gift from the Sea" was one of the first steps I took on my path into the spirit. She writes eloquently of the passages of a woman's life from chamber to chamber of a Chambered Nautilus. It is a beautiful image that I only dimly understood as a teenager. So peaceful.
Thinking on it now I am in my 50s I find it even more beautiful. Each of the stages I have grown through -- teenager, 20 something, 30 something, 40 something and now here. And even though the Chambered Nautilus is not a snail I like to think it is because no matter how many chambers the animal has, it still has to haul it around. After all, I am still hauling my own shell down the road. So, Snail on, dudes.

Cellular pain

I have chronic pain from myofascial. Recently though I have been getting help dealing with it from lots of people. The thing I am realizing is that bodies hold pain by habit. Habit. From the way I hold myself that causes pain to the way I deal with it by freezing up more. It comes down to darn near the cellular level. Habit.

Family Fables

Family Fables are what we as a family unit tell ourselves to feel better, stronger, different and special. Even if all we may be is as lowly as a street sweeping snail. The fables my family told me...some are probably true, some are probably not true. But all are in my own personal mythos. I don't have the talent or the time to go through all the family papers I have to document whether what I have in my mythos is true or not. It doesn't matter, though. Because true or false, it is real for me. And that reality has pretty much defined who I am now inside. In fact I have had to really stop to take a good look at who I actually am as opposed to who I thought I was. And I find at this late date, I am much different than I thought. And it is all good.

Why I think Mondays are Terrible

Here is a YouTube segment on cats and really funny things that happen to them when they are not paying attention. Sort of reminded me of my day being attacked by the gizmo gremlins.

May 13, 2007

Caving Cats

The Whole Foods in my area packs groceries into paper bags. No other packaging options. And I just discovered my cats love crawling inside and caving.

Humanities Majors Are Never Wasted

I majored in Humanities in college. Never had to sling hash for a living but really find folks under-appreciative of just how profound a humanities education actually is. For me at least, humanities puts life into perspective. From the day to day slogging to a more long view of the past that pulls all aspects from art, architecture, war, writings, history, religion, morals, ethics, music together when I start to study a period. It is more like intellectual archeology rather then just studying one aspect of a person's life. So, perhaps, it is no surprise I love watching PBS, History Channel, Lives of Henry the 8th, and other programs. I am spared from having to watch American Idol. Whew. Who knew a college education could be so useful?

Conscience as a mirror

Conscience is the mirror of our souls, which represents the errors of our lives in their full shape”
George Bancroft quotes
A quote to consider this evening from the 19th century transcendental philospher, George Bancroft. Here is a link to who is George Bancroft as well to view his life in his times.

Embroidery as Tattoo...

My sister and I were our small town doctor's first ear piercing victims. He didn't quite have a handle on how to numb the ear before drilling (brrr) through it. I know now that ice cubes with potatoes would probably have been a less painful procedure albeit much more primitive. Since then, I have hated needles. So the option of having a tattoo for closure is not open to me. However, I use embroidery to achieve the same goal. Whenever I lose something I love, I replace it with images. From dogs to my native state to images of steamboats from my first foray in historical research. Today, though, I was humbled to find a store at Fair Oaks selling shirts covered in french knots and crewel stitch embroidery. I was humbled because those shirts were being sold for $28.00. I was tempted to get one for myself as wearable art. I have no use, however, for more things in my place even though these are truly spectacular. I find it shocking that work so carefully done is so poorly reimbursed. This sort of disrespect of craft demeans crafters everywhere.

Happy Mothers' Day

Really sweet day today. Learned many things and all of them good. Trust is perhaps the biggest of them. I am beginning to trust that things are really good for me now. My daughters are amazing people. So, yeah, folks...Happy Mothers' Day.

May 12, 2007

My Fair Lady Still Reigns

Pygmalion/My Fair Lady...I love the ending of the movie. There is just the wistfulness of loss as two individuals grow through the stage of teacher to student. And the coming to terms of in their new relationship by the end of the movie. Wonderful.

Cool Images

Choices in Life

Choices, arrggh!! I hate making choices. What I finally realize though is that I ultimately am the choices I make in my life. I bump into this lesson daily as I face the morning and evening commutes and other issues that demand attention by rubbing me the wrong way. I have a theory that things that bug me are actually invisible cats who are rubbing themselves on my legs to get attention. The more I ignore them or the more I dwell on how they make me feel, the more insistent they become. I need to do what Thict Nhat Hanh advises in his book called "The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching" and say "hello, there you are again," to the irritations instead of becoming fearful of them and freezing up. So my path today is to be grateful at being reminded that I am here in this world and in the now. Ownership of life comes with a daily mortgage that must be paid by my paying close paying attention to it. To fail to plan is to plan to fail. And choices are a huge part of that.

May 10, 2007

And On a Lighter Note

Here is a link I loved today: Alternative sources of energy can be as close as your cat.

What You Don't Know Can ....
I got interested today in something I was discussing with a friend. It was about the U.S. Prison System and a hearing I listened to last year that was alarming. The link above is to the entire hearing but I have excerpted and bolded the sections I find alarming. For ease of reference those sections can be found in their entirety on pages 88-96.

Material Submitted for the Hearing Record


FPI in the Free Market...Our free market system is essential to achieving and maintaining a vibrant and productive economy and is a necessary foundation of political and social freedom. The United States government is responsible for enforcing laws that promote competition in the marketplace and ensure a level playing field among competitors to benefit American consumers. Monopolies do not belong in a free market economy. ... This is exactly the situation with respect to FPI sales in the federal market. The federal government-the consumer in this case-is paying above market prices for lower quality goods and in doing so, is squandering American taxpayer dollars while completely ignoring the very rules it enforces in the commercial market. ...

The Need for Reform...In 1934, President Roosevelt established FPI as a government-owned corporation. FPI was given special ''mandatory source'' status in the government procurement process, forcing government agencies in need of a product to purchase that product from FPI. No consideration can be given to a private sector competitor unless that agency asks FPI for an exception from its own monopoly. It is ironic that there are laws prohibiting the U.S. from importing goods that are made by prisoners in other countries, yet we have laws that require our own federal government to buy goods and services from prisoners in this country.


Recent aggressive expansion by FPI into the services arena has caused great concern in the business community. Even though FPI's authorizing statute does not specifically mention services, FPI has interpreted that it is a ''preferential source'' for services and used this to enter into sole source contracts with Federal agencies for services. They are quickly expanding their services portfolio, which includes printing, environmental testing, recycling, mapping and imaging, distribution and mailing, laundry services, data conversion, and call center and help desk support.This expansion is alarming not only because it adversely impacts the private sector but also because it is wholly inappropriate to allow inmates access to classified or infrastructure information used in mapping projects or the personal or financial information of private citizens used in call center operations. We should be extremely cautious with the information we arm our federal inmates with in preparation for life beyond bars. ...FPI's desire to expand into the commercial marketplace is an alarming development that is seen as a call to arms by industry. The Chamber opposes FPI's move into the commercial marketplace for four reasons. First, the decision to expand into the commercial marketplace is in conflict with the clear language of FPI's enabling legislation and beyond the discretion of the Board. Second, it is a reversal of more than sixty years of public policy. Third, FPI has claimed this authority for itself without any specific legislative authority from Congress. Finally, the creation of a state run enterprise, competing with its own citizens, is a policy so at odds with the role of government in a free society that it is a decision best left to Congress.


The U.S. Chamber and the business community appreciate the Subcommittee's examination of FPI's impact on the private sector and urge quick consideration of H.R. 2965 by the full committee. Businesses rely on an efficient, fair competitive process to provide the federal government with goods and services to maintain and grow their businesses.

Thank you for the opportunity to submit this statement for the record.


May 9, 2007

Heard on the Way Home

Heard on the drive home...Father Bush. So what I used to call junior is right!!! The shrub. It is time for the opposition (Democrats, Independents or if there is actually a Goldwater Republican out there) to do some pruning in 2008.

Fully Engaged and Outraged This link discusses a prior deployment of the Ohio State National Guard units in the Kent State massacre of May 1970. I lived through those days as a student in college. It was an ugly time for the country. It was outrageous behavior for a guard unit then. Police should have been the ones dealing with the student strikes. But gutless James Rhodes, then Governor of the State of Ohio, thought it was a good idea at the time to look tough. Someone needs to start paying attention to history, to psychology, to mental health, to fiscal responsibility, to the Constitution, to the real Bottom Line for America today.

Musing on the National Guard and Tornados
There are no coincidences in my life on line. I was getting ready to write about my perception that deploying state national guard units outside of the United States is illegal. And in checking through my facts on whether it is actually illegal or not I ran into this article about the reaction to last weekends' tornados through Kansas. I can only reflect as well on the fact that Katrina showed this deplorable theft of our states' reserves first. We couldn't respond faster locally because no one was home to respond. I am just sure as I can be that this deployment of troops is wrong. One wonders whether Bush would have served in Vietnam if his unit? in Texas had been called up the way he is calling up our states' units now. These policies are short-sighted in the best of worlds and if they aren't illegal today, somebody in Congress needs to get a bill onto the Floor to make them illegal. Somebody needs to do that today!!! For more reading (albeit biased) here is a link to CodePink. And final link for this article, folks, here is an article discussing the legality (hah) of deploying these troops in the first place.

May 7, 2007

Today's Card says it All

This is from the website I adore --

Card: The Star
Close Window

May you find purpose in your life.

Deck: Dragon

Tarot images reproduced by permission
of US Games Systems Inc. © US Games Systems Inc. Further
reproduction prohibited.

General Meaning:
What has traditionally been known as the Star card is about reconnecting one's Soul with the Divine -- the transcending of personality, family, community and reputation. It has to do ultimately with the freedom to be one's Self. The Soul is responding to celestial influences -- forces that can provide the personality with a stronger sense of purpose. The Star card helps us to remember our exalted origins and our attraction to a Higher Union.

This card could also be called the "Celestial Mandate" -- that which refers us back to our reason for being, our mission in this lifetime. The Star reminds us that, in a sense, we are agents of Divine Will in our day-to-day lives. If we let go of the idea that we are supposed to be in control, we can more easily notice and appreciate the synchronicities that are nudging us along. In this way, we become more conscious of the invisible Helping Hand, and we better understand our place within -- and value to -- the larger Cosmos.

Buy this deck now!

Perhaps Trust ... Comes Eventually

And the word of the day is: Trust. Reciting the Nembutsu helps me feel connected to the sangha and helps me work towards trust. Rev. Kenyru T. Tsuji wrote:

"Namu Amida Butsu...
it is the song of gratitude
not of my finding the Buddha,
but Buddha finding me."
UDUMBARA: The Journal of Ekoji (Volume I: Summer, 1985) © 2007 Ekoji Buddhist Temple

Until then,

Ok, I'm Late in Reading Salon but ...

This article has a very cogent point I have felt for a long time. Nixon and Agnew are reincarnated in Bush and Cheney. Felt it in my bones but couldn't articulate any better than this 2004 Salon article. There is a movement to replace Cheney with Olympia Snow as Vice President to improve Republican chances in 2006. I doubt a year would be enough time to accomplish this but it is an appealing notion. If Bush were as embarrassed by Cheney as Nixon was by Agnew perhaps it would work. After all, Nixon kept saying how he was 110% behind Agnew up until the time he ditched him for Gerry Ford. So why not Olympia Snow? After all, Gerald Ford was a remarkable politician and a comfort to the country after Nixon's resignation. The only thing Gerry had to do to get the job was promise immunity to Nixon after Watergate. So, who knows..... Until the US regains its saniety, Peace Please.

May 6, 2007

What Ifs

The horrible What Ifs in the aftermath of Virginia Tech really boil down to learning to listen to others. Really more than listening. Acting on behalf of others who may not want help. Forcing the parents of bullies to send their kids to counselling. Forcing the parents of the picked upon to do the same. As life in the Ed.Biz. stands at the moment, the parents of the kids who bullied my girls never apologized for their sons' behavior. We were the ones who sought help for our girls. It ticks me off. So my question is why is it the picked upon victim who gets stimatized and forced to get treatment while the bullies walk free among us? Focusing on the Virginia Tech killer is a good start but much, much more needs to be done. Until then ... peace please

Why I Hate C-Span but Listen to it Anyway

I listen to C-Span to get pre-sound-byte information instead of pablum. Lately though pablum in the form of government certified spokespersons have crept into C-Span. This weekend was no different. A spokesman for some Christian sect was talking with C-Span about Bush and the Iraq war. A caller asked him to comment about whether the war was a right expression of Faith. The spokesman tapped-danced around the issue by using one of those philosophic straw men political arguments so he could demolish it and thus win the argument. I hate that. And the moderator of the C-Span show let him get away with it. How typical. Bush has been setting up these straw men arguments for years. First the Faith Based Initiatives to help (hah) with the homeless. Now the Iraq war. According to the spokesman Iraq is faith based. Blessed. Grrrr. Who knew we could also have Faith Based Wars? But clearly what started after 9/11 was Christian Based Jihad. There is no doubt in my mind that Eisenhower was right to worry about an Industrial Military Complex. Only no one listened. No one listened in Vietnam. No one is listening now. So here we are in the new millenium going to war against an idea. Ridiculous. War on Terror. So who is the terrorist? Bush or Them? Until then...peace please.

Tourists and Ghosts

I was born at the tail end of the baby boom in 1951. I am a child of the God is Dead Generation. When we had an upsurge of ghost activities in my home back in 1969, we went to our Episcopal Church in town expecting help. This was before the Exorcist and Amityville were books or films. Our minister was delighted. He wanted to meet these entities. Say it with me, folks, "That's just crazy!" It was a pretty discouraging experience for me. My minister wanted to be a tourist to my own personal hell. After all, no one in the 60s believed in mainstream religion. Now NPR has BlueGrass Sundays, religious music is sung and written in a popular genre, and ghost questing has actually become touristy enough for the Commerce Department to certify. Gahhh, "O mores, o tempore" So I know, I know, this is a blog on my personal quest dealing with pain by finding acceptance but I didn't expect so much company on the quest for spirituality.

May 5, 2007


When I "sit" with one of my cats, I notice the cat stays calmer if I keep my mind clear. The second my attention drifts away, so does the cat. Hmmm.


Garrison Keillor and Prairie Home Companion is just marvelous. One phrase struck me tonight. He had Pastor Inkvest describe the folks of Lake Wobegon as sheep, easily scared and mainly a herd animal. How true! How much better for the ego, though, to be the coyote for whom sheep is just fast food? But baaaaaah for now.

How to Be a Rock Star

This is funny....

History of Dance from YouTube

Nora the Cat (All Props to YouTube)

It is just so sweet how Nora actually listens to the music. Just amazing. It reminds me of the dharma talk our sensei gave today. He talked about listening for the Buddha as we chant the nimbutsu. He was so right. And Nora reminds me of this quality of listening.

May 4, 2007

Sighted on the Travel Channel

I had to take public transit today instead of driving. Bad idea. I hurt so much I couldn't sleep. So I started watching the Travel Channel. Weird, I know. It was about ghosts, though, so I was hooked. Hauntings at the Whaley House. The show claims the haunting is certified by the U.S. Commerce Department. We have government certified hauntings now? Arrrggh!!! What next? What ticks me off though is that the show didn't say: "Don't try this at home." I guess ghosts are entertainment now. Which makes them what? Less scarey, less dangerous, less, less, less? Ghost Snooping like this may not harm a person on first exposure or second or third perhaps but dabbling with hauntings is like being covered in cobwebs one strand at a time. A little is fine but by the time it gets too heavy there is no easy escape. So in the spirit of safety...May all beings wherever and whenever they are be blessed tonight and all time.

Waiting for ... Judgment

Today's Personal Card: The Hanged Man This Deck: Old English

General Meaning: Traditionally, the card known as the Hanged Man usually indicates a lack of ability to help oneself through independent action. This energy is arrested and awaiting judgment. With this card, there is no avenue for the will to regain control until the situation has passed. This represents a good time to be philosophical, to study and meditate upon the position you find yourself in, and form resolutions for the moment you become free again. Only those who possess wisdom, patience and optimism will be able to see through limitations, including possible humiliation, to grasp the inspiring lesson one can gain from such an experience.

Until then