January 24, 2009
Training fleas, please............
January 23, 2009
Here is the link http://www.livingincomfort.com/verilux.htm
Other less expensive solutions are Vitamin D as well as 5HTP. Both moderate mood swings.
January 21, 2009
- The Gods We Worship. Through prayer we struggle to experience the Presence of God. Let us be sure that the One we invoke is the Most High, not a god of battles, of state or status or 'success' -- but the Source of peace and mercy and goodness. For, truly: "The gods we worship write their names on our faces, be sure of that. And we will worship something -- have no doubt of that either. We may think that our tribute is paid in secret in the dark recesses of the heart -- but it will out. That which dominates our imagination and our thoughts will determine our life and character. Therefore it behooves us to be careful what we are worshipping, for what we are worshipping we are becoming." (Page 240. Shabbat Meditation, Gates of Prayer.)
- The King of Wands card suggests that my power today lies in personal power. I inspire transformation, respect and support by discrete but charismatic example and tolerance. I am an instrument for dynamic, responsible, or passionate expansion that serves or protects the greater good of my legacy. I am a master of the universe and I am empowered with a reputation of experience, credibility and momentum and I transform through integrity.
- January 20, 2009
- Staying Afloat
- Riding the Wave of Life
- Our lives are continually in motion, buoyed by the wave that is the universe’s flow. As the wave rises and falls, we are carried forward, through life’s high and low points. The universe’s flow may take us to a place in life where we would rather not be. As tempting as it can be to fight the direction and size of this wave that propels us, riding the wave is intended to make life easier. When you ride the wave, your life can evolve naturally and with minimal effort. Riding the wave, however, is not a passive experience. It is an active process that requires you to be attentive, centered, and awake. You must also practice stillness so you can flow with, rather than resist the wave’s motion.
Because life is dynamic and always changing, it is when we try to make the wave stand still or resist its direction that we are likely to get pulled under by its weight. If you try to move against the wave, you may feel as if you are trapped by it and have no control over your destiny. When you reach a low point while riding the wave and find your feet touching bottom, remember to stay standing so that you can leap forward along with the wave the next time it rises. Trying to resist life’s flow is a losing proposition and costly because you waste energy.
Riding the wave allows you to move forward without expending too much of your own efforts. When you ride the wave, you are carried by it and your head can “stay above water” as you go wherever it takes you. It can be difficult to trust the universe and let go of the urge to fight life’s flow, and you may find it easier to ride the wave if you can stay calm and relaxed. Riding the wave will always take you where you need to go.
January 20, 2009
Perhaps there will be peace
January 18, 2009
- January 18, 2009
- Lost in Beauty
- Cancer Daily Horoscope
- Your creativity can serve you well today, whether you are endeavoring to complete a professional project or concentrating your attention on a hobby from which you derive pleasure. You may find yourself infusing everything to which you apply yourself with an atmosphere of artfulness that affords others a unique opportunity to appreciate beauty in everyday objects. The main beneficiary of your imaginative labors, however, will likely be you, as your devotion to loveliness ensures that your thoughts remain positive and upbeat at all times. You may also enjoy expanding your horizons through creative activities today, and the curiosity that blossoms within you as you create can become the seed of a lifelong quest for beauty.
It is easy to put aside worldly cares when we lose ourselves in the beauty we are capable of creating, using little more than our imaginative minds. Our thoughts naturally revolve around all that is good and true rather than the challenges that are circumstantially thrust upon us in our daily lives. Because we are immersed in the rushing flood of the creative flow, we have little time or energy to devote to topics that fall outside of the range of our imaginations. The world is a much more pleasant place when we observe it through perception that is colored by our innovative vantage points. We can appreciate the loveliness that is inherent in simply living, without giving regard to the tension that is an established part of being. Your creativity will make the world seem like a brighter place today.
Until all beings know peace, may peace be
Until peace, may we all know peace.
Blessings for today. Stay warm.
January 17, 2009
January 12, 2009
There is something about fear that kicks up my negativity. When I am scared, I start to doubt myself and others. Never the cats, though. Never the universe...well, mostly never the universe. When I am really on a negative kick, I can even doubt that any good things happen. That's when I know to do a full on meditation session in a circle of stones that I have collected over the years for protection. It takes a while to work though. So the best thing for me to do is blog every day and look back to see that I have had good days, I have had bad days and that they both balance each other out.
My horoscope for today says roughly the same thing.
Logical, Sensible, and Practical
Cancer Daily Horoscope
- Today your sensible side may come to the forefront, helping you logically assess things like financial responsibilities. You may find yourself being practical rather than whimsical in a variety of situations. This can be very helpful in dealing with practical matters, but you want to be sure to balance these considerations with your heart and spirit as well. There are times when the sensible thing may be something that crushes your spirit, such as paying for additional insurance instead of dance lessons or giving up a vacation to pay off a debt. Today you can sensibly make balanced decisions to lead a full and balanced joyful life.
- Budgeting may enter into such situations, which some find an unpleasant reminder of the things they can't have. However, it is just like choosing how we spend our energy or time. When we make a schedule, we are budgeting those things≈making choices toward the best use of our resources. We may want to remind ourselves of our goals before making such plans to be sure that we make decisions that are in line with who we truly are and who we want to become. This is where heart, mind, and intuition come together to help us make the best choices for our present in order to build our future. Today, though you may be feeling sensible, you can use your senses to make sure that you appreciate the fullness of life and all it has to offer.
But there is some (no, actually, a lot) of truth in today's comment.
- The Tower card suggests that my alter ego today is the Survivor, whose superpower for revolution lies in my epiphany for change, brought on with the aid of a serious reality check.
- Today I have reached a turning point. It may be all over but the crying -- but I have the strength to move on and create a better situation for myself.
- You may say that I never saw it coming or learned the hard way, but with profound change comes new opportunity. One door closes -- another opens.
- So tear down the wall, and rebuild anew.
My hope is that this reflects what I have gone through since June in my stubborness about not working at a mega law firm again. Not working down town. Not really working in law-cum-law at all. Hopefully, changes came while I worked at the cattery. Hopefully, changes came while I worked at my first temp job. Hopefully, I havfe learned the lesson I need to survive a turning point. Hope...
January 11, 2009
I just found a tarot.com card that describes emotional availability and perhaps that is what is happening with me and the cat. Lowering my drawbridges to allow access...
- The King of Chalices card suggests that my power today lies in emotional availability.
- I inspire, protect and nurture with reliable compassion, respect, and affection. I am a master in the art and am secure enough in my role to connect to, express and pursue my hearts desire while defending the greater good of those who rely on me.
- I am empowered by consistency and patience while trust is my gift or Holy Grail.
I am not sure that trust is a holy grail except in the notion that I always have to seek after it. But I am sure trust is a two way gift we all give each other. When the cat sensing I am available, he/she relaxes and ultimately heals. We all know what happens when we don't listen. We get scratched and bite by whatever is lying in our way.
Until peace comes, know peace
January 8, 2009
Inner Seclusion For Reflection
Cancer Daily Horoscope
- You may find yourself pulling your energy inward, seeking seclusion within yourself. The need for inner reflection may make you feel private and introspective. Perhaps you have not been paying attention to your inner guidance, so you have been given this opportunity to create balance between your inner and outer worlds. It may be helpful to seclude yourself physically as well as emotionally by finding a peaceful and nurturing place to spend some time. This may mean retreating to your bedroom or a garden. You may find yourself drawn to places of spiritual observance where the atmosphere is already created for peaceful inward reflection. Once you have cleared away all distractions, you will likely find what your inner self seeks today.
You can create a new atmosphere in familiar places by lighting candles, burning incense, or playing soothing music. By making a slight shift in your outer world, you indicate to your body and mind to also shift within. Following your senses inward, you can then focus on your breathing and let your thoughts drift by, listening for the silence. From this place of stillness you will find your connection to the universe’s energy. You may be nourished just by being in its presence, or perhaps you will want to release an intention into the stillness, creating a ripple of energy that will lead to the creation of your desire. Inspiration may come to you, giving you something to take with you into the world. By following your desire to go inward today, you renew your connection to self and the universe.
- A Separate Reality
- Disconnecting from the Source
- We all experience periods where we feel separated from the loving ebb and flow of the universe. These times of feeling disconnected from the source may occur for many reasons, but self-sabotage is the most common cause for us choosing to cut ourselves off from the flow of the universe. We purposefully, though often unconsciously, cut ourselves off from this flow and from the embrace of humanity so we can avoid dealing with painful issues, shun the necessary steps for growth, or prevent the success that we are afraid of achieving from ever happening. When you choose to disconnect from the source, you block the flow of the universe’s energy from passing through you. You become like a sleepwalker who is not fully awake to life, and your hopes, plans, and dreams begin to appear as distant blurs on a faraway horizon. Universal support has never left you, but if you can remember that you became disconnected from source by choice, you can choose to reconnect.
Reconnecting with the universe grounds you and is as easy as you making a concerted effort to become interested in the activities you love or responding to what nurtures or stimulates you. You may also want to make a list of the activities and kinds of experiences that touch your soul. Try to pinpoint the times when you have felt fully engaged and aware and ask yourself what you were doing. But one of the easiest ways to reconnect is simply by stating the intention of doing so.
When you disconnect from the universe, your sense of purpose, creativity, and ability to be innovative are not as easy to access. You may also experience a deep and empty sense of longing or feel devoid of ideas or unworthy of love. It’s important, however, to recognize that being disconnected from the universe is never a permanent state, and it can be reversed any time you decide that you are ready to reconnect. When you are connected to the universe, all aspects of your being will feel alive as the flow of the universe pours through your being and into your life.
January 7, 2009
- The Six of Swords card suggests that my power today lies in transition.
- I have what I need and am willing to trust the process order to move on, seek refuge or new opportunity.
- I'm not willing to remain where my perceptions are invalidated but being vulnerable I must rely on guidance to move in a new direction or trust that I can make it or be led to security and new hope. 'Wherever you go, there you are.'
- I am empowered by perseverance and my virtue is survival.
Until then, may all beings know peace
January 5, 2009
Times are hard. I have never had as little money in my bank account and as many bills and as few hours to work. It is scarey. And yet, my fallback work at the cattery moves on apace. I worked there 6 hours today and found peace and exhaustion. Six hours is more physical work than I have done in a while. If ever. I am a desk person. And yet...if this paid more...I'd eat raw meat to work there full time and have the strength. We have kittens who need socializing. We have older cats who need to learn trust. We have cats who need to learn to trust, period. We have plenty of physical work to do -- cleaning litter pans, washing bowls, feeding, giving medications, washing laundry for the cats and dogs and then folding it up and finding space for it to go. And yet, the most important thing we do there is 'listen'. Listen for the cough. Listen for the muted growl which presages a bite. Listen to other workers in the same financial position I am in or worse. Listen to the kittens squealing happily as they tear down the stacks of clean sheets in the isolation room where they are at the moment. Listen. If there is one thing we have forgotten to do in this country with the war, with the financial situation, with the Bush administration, is listen to one another. What we have done instead (character assassinations passing as conversation) is not listening. Listening means opening your ears which lead to your heart. Listen. Listen. Listen to the rain, listen to the sleet as it falls, listen to the cats snore, listen to the dogs bark. Listen to peace and find peace inside yourself. Namaste.
January 2, 2009
- The Seven of Wands card suggests that my power today lies in seizing the day. I step in, recognize, or create opportunities to take it to the next level and communicate leadership or earn respect through performance. I am empowered to rise to the occasion by a window of opportunity and I transform through motivation.
January 1, 2009
The way I react to it now (after the fact) is what is important and what Mel and I need to work on. It took me 6 whole months to realize that this is why I have stalled on going back to work in any law firm. Even though LPI got me an interview with OP, I shied away in the interview. The first job I have gotten excited about is the one I just applied to as a Legal Administrator to a firm that would need me to drive from Arlington to Harrisonburg, Virginia on an 'as needed' basis. But D. is right. We don't have family health coverage that's affordable on COBRA. It is now $1,800+ a month and that's unsustainable. Grant me the grace to see my place in how to manage this paradigm shift in my thinking.
Working Through Silence
Noise as a Distraction
Our lives are typically filled with noise. There are the noises from the outside world that we cannot control, and there are the noises we allow into our lives. These noises, from seemingly innocuous sources like the television and radio, can actually help us avoid dealing with uncomfortable thoughts and emotions. However, using noise as a distraction hurts more than it helps because you are numbing yourself to what may be internally bubbling up to the surface for you to look at and heal. Distracting yourself with talk-radio, television, or other background noises can also prevent you from finding closure to issues that haunt you.
Noise as a distraction can affect us in many ways. It can help you stay numb to emotions that you don’t want to feel, allow you to avoid dealing with problems, distract you from having to think, and make it easier for you to forget reality. Drowning out the thoughts and emotions you find uncomfortable or overwhelming can complicate your issues because it allows them to fester. By tuning out noise and relishing silence, you create the space to experience and express what you are hiding. It is only then that self-exploration can begin in earnest and you can stare down frightening issues. In silence, it becomes easier to let your strongest feelings come forth, deal with them, and find new ways of resolving your problems.
When you go within without the veil of noise to shield you from yourself, you’ll be able to figure out what you need to heal. Embracing silence and introspection allows you to work through your thoughts and emotions and transmute them. Free of the need for noise, you can accept your pain, anger, and frustration as they come up and turn them into opportunities to evolve.
- So what was/is it I feared/fear so much that I needed the TV on ... I would have to say solvency, job esteem, a place in society. When I left D., I lost what I perceived as my society status holder. I was no longer a wife. I was no longer a full time mother. I was no longer a part of a family that D and I created 21 years ago. And it hurt. It hurt more than I have words to describe it.
- When I was let go by S., I lost my job esteem, my solvency, my place in society as a wage earner. The difference now is that instead of TV being on like it was for D., it is quiet around here. Sure, I find other distractions. I read a ton. Really 11 books at a time from the library. Just a ton of reading. And a ton of sleeping. Sure, it helps with the pain. Sure, I need to recharge more often. Sure, stress gives me headaches. But it is also a really good escape from feelings of inadequacy. But I do take time to think as I sit here typing my thoughts in the evening.
- Here is what I know. Even though I know I am good, talented, smart as a whip, I still haven't found a full time position. I am working almost every day 4 hour shifts. Either at G or at FOHA. And I am earning a third of what I used to make. No health benefits, no time off, nada, zip.
- If I were honest with myself, I'd say I was overwhelmed. I am frozen in fear. But what exactly is at the bottom of the fear? If I can identify it, then I can take a closer look and figure out a way to deal with it. I need to contact the Fairfax County Retraining of Seniors people and see if they can help me identify whether I need to train up to a new career or just find something less challenging. I get overwhelmed thinking that I am a failure if I ask for help and wind up pushing the help away. I will be calling the Skills Group just to see what they would be able to offer me in retraining for another career or assisting me to find something that would help pay my rent and other issues. What I am truly scared of is having to move into low rent housing and having to face my girls and tell them I failed. They need me stable in their lives. I fear being in a new situation. But I suppose having done the tough stuff with D and moving out in 2004, I could do that if need be. After all K is driving now. Pragmatically, this is just stuff to walk through. Grant me the peace of soul and soles to walk this path littered with the sharp rocks of fear.
- The Three of Swords card suggests that my power today lies in truth or consequences.
- Denial or control is no longer an option and I am ready to experience a breakthrough. My suffering, fear, or emotional loss is/was valid, incredible and deserves to be acknowledged and expressed in order to heal or transform the sacrifice.
- I am empowered by recognition and my virtue is choice.