Feelings and Listening

My conclusion about pain today, after 5+ sessions with my un-crinkle guy, is that pain for me is a concept...a belief or a mental habit, if you will. If I think I hurt, then I hurt. And it doesn't really matter what will trigger that thought that I hurt. Good things happen, I hurt. Bad things happen, I hurt. I find I hurt most when I am trying to stay away from people. Ummm, I did mention that I find people only slightly less scarey than childhood nightmares? So to keep myself safe from people, I create barriers to closeness. Pain works well for that. Headaches are terrific reasons to stay at my desk during lunch or at home after work. Panic attacks when I get stressed out. So now my homework from my various coaches is to stay calm when I sense a panic attack threatening to engulf me and to just say hi to whatever part of me is starting to experience panic as pain. And stop to listen to what really is bothering me.