January 18, 2009


The old adage says, "Hindsight is 20-20." No kidding. But living backwards isn't hindsight. It is living being surprised by the moment, living without a plan for the future that is in 5 year increments, it is waking up. At least, that is how living backwards is for me. I am always surprised by my place in the world. I was surprised to be a parent so I hated the responsibility of always having to be 'in charge.' I was surprised to have worked at a law firm for 15 years so I hated the responsibility of the commute, being there on time, self correcting typos, dressing the part. And I am surprised that I didn't see it then -- only now. Some folks back 5 years ago, kept telling me (then 52 years old) to grow up. Now I realize they were calling me to my true self -- not growing up but be-coming. Waking up. Ahh, now I get it. Re-flection. There must be a meaning that relates to history or mulling. In Judaism it is called return. Return to the soul. Return to G-d. In Buddism is it calling out the Buddas' name and hearing him/her call back to you in response. In universal terms, it is knowing there is a circle, being a part and then recognizing you are a part of the whole. Stay focused. Use the eyes of the head, the heart and the soul. 360 vision. It works if you are a clam with eyes around your head or if you are Janus-like and see backwards and forwards.

Blessings for today. Stay warm.

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