Possession or Possessions

Being owned, being possessed worries me.

Image - copyright 1998 Lo Scarabeo S.r.l. The Four of Pentacles card suggests that my power today lies in possession. I choose not to be bound, identified, or paralyzed by ownership, possessions or means in order that I may always have a free hand and room to grow. I am practical, responsible, and determined about protecting my purpose or advocating for my resources. I am empowered by the status quo and my asset is value.

Being popular, being 'in demand,' is a worrying concept for me. I don't really allow myself to be liked or needed. It tends to make me feel -- well -- weird. I know, I know. If I didn't like to be liked, then why do I volunteer at the cattery or help listen to my girls or listen to folks at work. Why? Do I want to be liked? Do I want to be accepted? Sure. I want to be liked. Sure. I want to be someone who is looked for as a necessary ingredient in the mix of people at an office. Sure. I want to be needed at the cattery. But being needed has the automatic responsibility of how to say 'no' to folks who need too much and makes me worry about how to balance my priorities with people who need me. My weekends essentially are gone at this point because I spend so much of my time at the cattery and return exhausted and needing long naps to recuperate. My mid-mornings to early afternoons each weekday are gone now with my part time job. Note, I am not complaining about these two obligations. It is just that time trickles away. I am not sure whether I can handle a third job. I just don't know whether I can go right after my 2 pm quitting time directly into another job that will run until 6 pm in the northern part of the county. My commute will increase, my time with my cats will decrease. My bank account will have potentially 10 more hours of fees that the clients will pay. But at the trade off of helping a long time client who has a prior claim on my loyalty although not on my bank account. Balance. Balance. What to do? I need the quiet of my cats to consult with on this issue before broaching it with my client. Self possession or possessed by possessions. Tough to decide somedays around here.


Until peace, may all beings know peace.