Ah, Permission Slips

Permission slips are a daily thing in a household with school age kids. But I never realized I needed to give myself permission to start a new role as a new 'me.' I mean the change in legal status still has me staggered. How do I suddenly give myself permission to become a new "me"? Whom do I ask for permisson to do that? I am sure it looks easy from the outside but I am just now realizing how hard it is from the inside. And it has taken me a very long time to realize that granting myself permission is not just about staying up late and watching tv. It is about deciding what I like, what I want to spend time doing, how I deal with anger, how I deal with frustration, how I deal with loneliness, how I deal with fear, how I deal with the anger I have at the pain that has taken over and constricted my life, and generally how I deal with life. Tonight I discovered the person who needed to do that -- me. So yeah, lots to think about. Think, not fester, not rage. Just think and check in on how I am handling the permission slip thing. Oh, yeah, and make sure I give the permission slip to the right person -- me.