Actually,

Actually, I do recall the last time when people came together as individuals (and strangers to one another) and helped.  It was 9/11 and I was driving home after the Pentagon attack in D.C.  I turned onto the wrong road and had to backtrack to get out of the city.  I had gotten lost on the access point to the Teddy Roosevelt Bridge which is usually relentlessly difficult to navigate.  So normally this is a suicidal tactic.  Streets come so fast and drivers come so quick that accidents happen fast because no one driver has the patience and kindness to look beyond themselves while they are on the road.  But that day was a light in time that continues to shine in to the present.  Other drivers stopped and let me get turned around.  So here is a shoutout to those that helped.  I know that now I give other drivers plenty of room to get in, get around and try not to get upset when I get cut off.  I have a bumper sticker that keeps me from getting upset at people who are honking at others...this really used to tick me off.  My sticker says "Honk If You Don't Exist."

It helps me take a moment before getting upset to wonder whether they are honking in a friendly, geewhiz I get like the bumper sticker or whether they are honking because they are idiots.

Just food for thought
Namaste

Hmmm, why is it easier...

Actually this experience with the office move has been food for thought.  Why is it easier for people acting in groups to become callous and cold towards those they are (supposedly) helping?  Why does belonging to an institution make people act afraid of acting with kindness towards others?

I used to see this behavior in cats at the Shelter.  New rescues would come in and after the obligatory period in isolation would go into the main cattery area.  Resident cats are an iffy lot when it comes to meeting new cats.  Standoffish doesn't begin to describe it.

All I know is that I am eternally grateful to the people who eventually reached out to help fix the problems caused by the incompetence of others.

Thank you for restoring my faith in the best of individuals reaching to help.

A Shirley Temple View of Life--The Little Princess

Oh, if I could just have the sense of faith that Shirley Temple has in this movie.  The entire experience of managing an office move, fighting with the phone/computer companies and finding out that an honest broker is not to be found in today's world has shaken me.  I believe the best of experience was meeting people who could and did step out of their institutional roles to help.  People who rise up and help make things better are more heroic than is given credit.  Perhaps because of the last two days when they stepped up to step in have been a lesson for me in the value of persistence and belief in myself.  And perhaps a better belief in the heroism of peopl when they act individually instead of collectively.

Daniel Jonah Goldhagen | Worse Than War

Daniel Jonah Goldhagen | Worse Than War

My god, this is the most powerful view of genocide I have ever watched. And believe me, I have watched plenty of programs on holocausts. But Goldhagen is different. He is the first one to link all genocides together. From Pol Pot, Hitler, Tutsie, Armenian, Bosnia and others, he weaves a compelling case for genocide being an integral part of the human experience. He then goes further an explores ways to stop them since the countries of the world consider status quo more important than intervention in the internal affairs of a country--even when massive numbers of humans are being exterminated. He has done the research, he has talked with mass murderers to hear their side, he is the more thorough historian and activist I have seen so far. May he inspire many more!

Campus visits

We're off to see the campuses of 3 universities this week. Eeeeeek!  From checking to make sure the cats will be ok while we are gone -- thank you, Ana!!  to getting the car filled up and the windows washed for the long drive to printing up campus maps, direction maps and creating folders, it is a campaign worthy of Napoleon's assault on Mother Russia.  So eeeeeeek!!!

Happy Passover everyone and Happy Easter to everyone else.

students.gov - Student Gateway to the U.S. Government

students.gov - Student Gateway to the U.S. Government

Cool website

http://posterous.com/ sounds really good but haven't checked it out yet.

Job Searh Websites - Apply for Multiple Jobs Automatically - Finding a Job - Fanpop

Job Searh Websites - Apply for Multiple Jobs Automatically - Finding a Job - Fanpop

Ok, just turned this up on an encore.com job help website. Apparently, it applies to multiple job listings all at the same time. Has anyone tried this yet?

Another Shock from Fox

As if Fox is not the most shocking thing about this morning, Bill Bennett was on as a 'commentator'? I like Bill Bennett. He has not been on my radar since the Reagan presidency but he is so right about the stupidity of both political parties. I am an independent these days because of the failures of representatives who are supposedly representing me. I will watch Bennett more often

Surprised by Wakefulness

Woke up at 3 am this morning and tuned into Fox Channel. First surprise. Next surprise was the 8.8 quake in Chile. What is it with quakes this year? Is it caused by the lightening of the snowpacks at the poles changing the weight on the crust of the sea bottoms? I think so but no one has confirmed that so far. USGS where are you? It is entirely predictable that this would happen. Look at the lake bottom of Lake Erie for an example.

Health Care Summit

Not a snooze. Not a fun thing to watch but good politics.

Style of Writing

Poetry, haiku, fiction, non-fiction and all the sub-genres of those styles.  Read everything you can.  Haunt your local library, bookstores, grocery shelves and drugstore books. The more you read, the more you will know what you like.  Start writing.  If line paper is too much to write on or blank screens too intimidating, then writing on the backs of envelopes, on drawing paper, on those pesky notepads we keep lists on for shopping.  Writing is just another way of organizing lists.  Writing connects your hands with two important pieces...your guts and your head.

Yours in Style

Then Again and Until Then

Then again, checking the web is one of the best ways to find out if other people are interested in what you are thinking.  Google is an amazing research aide.  And your mind and common sense are your best friends in the search for your next best job.  Take photos of pictures you like, take photos of snails, snow, ice formations, cats, dogs, birds and store them on your computer as a slide show.  That way the computer remembers them and will flash them up on the screen whenever you are ... waiting ... for the next thing to do.

Until then
peace

finding jobs at the local level

Looking for a job is tough in the best of times. Now is impossible. Keep looking through all the lists though. You may find postings that didn't interest you before but which are still looking for jobs. Maybe redefine goals, game change, resume change needs doing. Gah! Keep spirits up though.

Moreover

Passive voice plagues me in real life too.  I talk using active verbs but in every other aspect of my life -- from finding jobs or making critical decisions about money -- I go absolutely passive.  That's not a solution.  It is a mess.  Does anyone else have that problem?  Perhaps we all need a 12 step support group to haul ourselves out of the habit of going limp.....

Comments anyone?

Just asking and putting passive voice issues out there

I have a real problem with passive voice writing.  Ghost writing (perhaps with real ghosts) would be easier.  Passive voice (for those who want to know) is using non-active verbs.  If there is anyone out there who can help me, just write in the comment section.  I struggle with this every time I write.  Maybe other people do too but I don't know them (or you) and would like an idea of how you fixed the problem.  One of the best books I have read about a writer with writers' block (and including ghosts) is "Golems of Gotham" by Thane Rosenbaum.  Terrific, funny, dark book with perhaps (in my own opinion) a need for editing out some of the thumping on a theme to make sure we 'get' what the author means.  But I let it slide since Rosenbaum is a lawyer and humanist and his training is making sure his audience understands what he is saying (even if he is repeating himself).  But other than that it is a terrific book.  Really wonderful.

At least he avoids my passive voice issue and for that alone is worth reading.

Until then, peace

Not my cat but found online. Priceless

Gotta love that face

Scanning-word of the day

Scanning...what is it exactly? Here is a link to the dictionary definition
www.merriam-webster.com/netdict/scan But scanning for me is all inclusive...from scanning a page while reading directions (and missing something critical) to setting up a printer and wondering why it won't work when I have forgotten to plug it into the computer. Seeing the surface of things is really good if I am hunting for a bird but actual living with technology is a little tougher... Printers don't tend to hop from branch to brand and instructions for running machines don't scurry off into bushes. Sigh. I wish they did...

Wait, then again, maybe not.  Hopping Printers would be much worse than cave crickets.  See what I mean

And they HOP.  At least they are small even though they are icky to see when they hop.  Imaging Hopping Printers now.....Yikes!!

Snow storms and Serenity

Snow-Maggedon, no....Winter cyclone is a better description.    We have 3 feet on the ground now and tonight we should be getting another 20 inches of the white stuff.  Plus we are getting winds with the current storm.  Oh ouch.  I love snow -- just not this much.  Here is a snapshot of my last few days:  Clean off my car, Dig out my space, help neighbors dig through the ice berg the snow plow left that blocked all of our cars and go to bed and then wake up to do it all over again the next day.  Good exercise but wow.

Hang in there all you snow shovellers and meanwhile read up on these winter cyclones from The Weather Channel.  I promise you they are pretty interesting.

Hunting winter storms: NOAA dispatches aircraft used for ... - RestoreJan 19, 2010 ... Listen live to Atlanta's breaking news, severe weather, ... to help forecast winter cyclones - Kirk Mellish's Weather Commentary .... Join Channel 2 Action News anchors John Pruitt and Monica Pearson at 5, 6, and 11pm. ...


wsbradio.com/...weather.../hunting-winter-storms-noaa-dis.html - Cached -

Cheap Thrills Not Available this Week for Teens

This week was a stretch for all of us.  I think is was worse for drivers since there were no roads cleared enough to drive on.

What I learned today

http://www.razoo.com/story/Cheyenne-River-Sioux-Tribe-Storm-Relief-Emergency-Assistance
This is a link to a serious problem for the Sioux Tribe.  The harsh weather crashed their electricity weeks ago but no one fixed it yet.  No news paid attention until I heard Keith Oberman discuss it in tonight's Countdown.  Go to the link above and check this out.  Help

Online Skills Tests are a Hoot

You know your job search is going off the rails when the job discovery online test you says your best job match is 'coroner.'  See http://www.careerpath.com/career-tests/jobdiscovery.aspx to find out what you are best suited for.  I know I like quiet places but generally I like warm quiet places with cats.  Egads, not cold quiet places intermittently filled with the noise of knives slicing into corpses.  Not my idea of a good match.  Yet that is what the test said after I entered what I have studied and my general skill set.  Brrr.  Maybe change my skills?

Getting a Flashlight

One of my cats is addicted to flashlight flicker games. She stalks the spot of light wherever it goes and tries to catch it -- but never does. This never seems to frustrate her, though. I don't believe it is because she is just a cat. I believe it is because she is wiser than humans and knows that something as ineffable as light (hope, faith, belief) can never be caught. It can just be accepted. That is something we humans haven't caught onto yet. We keep chasing those fireflies of ambition...
Until we stop, may we know peace

Tightropes

We all walk tightropes -- invisible ones. With faith, we can see the glimmering outlines of what holds us up.

Sad though

Looking at pictures of the World Trade Center back in the early 1970s...how little we knew. How beautiful it is that we have this documentary to remind us to seize each day, each moment, each tightrope.

Man on a Wire -- SunDance Channel

Man on Wire (2008)
Directed by James Marsh. With Philippe Petit, Jean Fran?ois Heckel, Jean-Louis Blondeau. A look at tightrope walker Philippe Petit's daring, but illegal, ...
This is a truly haunting and joyful documentary of the tightrope dancer who walked between the Twin Towers. Exquisite. Amazing cinematography. Plot Summary - Soundtrack listing - User comments - Awards
www.imdb.com/title/tt1155592/ - 11 hours ago - Cached - Similar -

Oh, the humanity

MPS (myofascial pain syndrome) and fibromyalgia suck.  The exhaustion and low grade pain rises before and during bad weather.  Ask me anything but don't expect me to be able to do it at times like those.  It is like watching a silent movie in my mind when the film breaks.  I look on line but all I find are articles about dementia when I search blankness.   When I search pain, I find cognitive impairment that is a subset of mps and fibro.  No doubt about it, MPS and fibro suck big time.

Soul Light or Why the Supremes Should Not Engage in Politics

It seems that decisions today are made by those heavy with money but light on souls.  How else to interpret the recent Supreme Court decision?  Corporations are not real people.  But, yes, Virginia, money talks.  Supreme Court, Corporations, Congress, Wall Street, Banks, Health Insurance and Credit Card Companies all know that.  So when the Supreme Court makes a decision that overthrows the Constitution and common sense what is the average citizen to do?  I wish I knew.

Until term limits are placed upon Supreme Court justices we will be stuck with bad law and judges who are not neutral.

Rupturing Democracy Using Pilpulism

I am a disaffected Kennedy democrat.  I am not pleased with the direction the democrats have taken in becoming more and more like the republicans.  It is tough to tell the difference between either party.  And as for the politicians?  Really disgraceful. All the senators and congressmen do is debate, filibuster and stall making decisions.  You cannot run a country by placating those who don't agree.  It is a rupture of the public faith.

Life after Corporations Can Make Direct Political Donations

We live in interesting times.  Way too interesting.

FOLLOW THE MONEY

I like the idea of having hearings on the Supreme Court decision to allow corporations to directly donate to political campaigns.  This has to be the worst decision ever.  I want to know whether the Court was influenced in its decision.    Follow the Money needs to be done now more than ever.

Tax Political Donations...Now

This ruling is going to radicalize the electorate if no one listens to us.  I liked one person's CSpan idea in taxing donations over $100.00 to cut the national debt.  That is actually a good idea. 

Betrayal

The word of the day is disenfranchised.  A second word of the day is disaffected.  A third word of the day is betrayal.  And the final word of the day is ennui.  I will start the discussion with the final.  Ennui is a generalized feeling of disconnectness resulting death like boredom.  Disenfranchised is the taking away of a citizen's rights.  Disaffected is a turning away from life.  Betrayal (such as the ruling of the Supreme Court in the Citizens Union case) is why voters in this country have given up.  The ruling only makes the individual's loss of power official.  We didn't have it before.  We now no longer have it at all. 

What Next

So what is next with the new senator from Massachusetts tipping the balance of the chicken little democrats in the Senate. Clearly not much. The leaders of that forum are backing and filling as fast as they can. What they don't realize it to let the process unfold. Let the debates come. The repubs don't have enough to veto -- only enough to continue in their current work as the party of no. Let them actually step up on the floor to filibuster and the voters will see that the repubs are a toothless party filled with fringe types. And the voters will be able to identify the fringe types and vote them out of office at the next election. Just let the process of debate weed the nopes out of office.

This is an opportunity that is ours to lose

Rebuilding Haiti could be a small scale project to show us how to rebuilt our own country.  I think it is important to look carefully at this.   Frankly while I am truly pleased with the way the administration has responded to Haiti it makes me sad that for whatever reason help for main street (and for those of us 55 and older who were displaced by the firms we counted on to retire from) has been slow to arrive.  Sigh.  But perhaps Haiti will re-ignite the way ...

An even cheaper idea for the modest proposal

An even cheaper idea for Haiti would be to fund container architectural designers to use the containers that are sure to pile up in Haiti with all the supplies being sent into the country to help.  If an architect could design the interior to hook it to the electricity, sewage and water then these units could be created cheaply and brought into the country with supplies inside and with local workers in Haiti being taught how to install the final changes in the design to hook them into the system. 

Meanwhile, many manufacturers would be able to open or reopen their plants.  Tax on those organizations could be waived so that jobs could be brought back from overseas and then tax on the profits that investors could be waived as well which would also help the charitable investor market as well.

Modest Proposal

A modest proposal concerning the death toll and infrastructure rebuilding needed in Haiti would be to create a jobs program for all the construction people who are out of work on the mainland.  Why not deputize them and pay for a jobs program to bring them down to Haiti to rebuild roads and other infrastructure like plumbing and water and electricity for the area.  Then hire architects to design buildings like those in Europe that are created in factories and then shipped to the site for hooking up to the water, sewage and electricity systems.  This would do several things.  I believe it would employ a lot of unemployed people.  It would create investment opportunities with good will included.  It would be able to develop further than the European model by creating "doc in a box" rooms that would contain beds, operating rooms, mortuary acjuncts and rooms for giving shots and doing emergency work.  This would go far in the field of medicine by stockpiling rooms like this ready to deploy as needed in disaster situations.

Sure Things

Senator Kennedy's seat in the Senate was the democrats sure thing.  As with all sure things, there axiom is that there are no sure things ever.  The last 'sure thing' was that throwing money at the biggest organizations that caused the financial meltdown.  Wall Street was supposed to settle their finances and free up credit to joe consumer.  So, how did that work for you?  It didn't work for me.  The credit card companies immediately jacked up my interest rate, dropped my credit limit and ruined my credit score.

Nice work for a 'sure thing'

Arrrgh

Ok.  Doc and I believe that cushioning the palm might help with the pain and swelling.  It could be a ganglion.  (doctor's thought)  Or it could be a trigger point which is one of the main characteristics of myofascial pain syndrome.  (my thought)   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trigger_point  Trigger points develop wherever there is stress in the body.

Oh, joy.  Given the years of typing, the years of driving long miles, the past two years of writing y hand binstead of using a computer, it is no wonder my hands have been stressed.  So I will learn to cushion my hands and treat them as gently as I can.  And more,  I need to develop new ways of typing so that I can log into websites easier and being as careful as possible when I draft documents to make sure I don't make mistakes.  Thank goodness for the portable hand heaters.  Those are the best thing I have found so far for the pain.

To repeat the title, Arrrggh

In good hands, freedom and myofascial pain

The phrase 'you're in good hands' resonate with me.  I go today to my doctor.  I have been having trouble typing  passwords over the past year.  If I can see, then I can make changes.  But if I can't see them, I am unaware that I erred.  As a typist and as a websurfer, this is a career changer for me.  And it is unexpected.  So I go to the doctor today to ask them why the flesh at the bottom of my ring finger is spasming and why my hands are so very weak.  I will tell them that the reason I am coming is because I felt a lump at the bottom of each ring finger.  When I rubbed the lump, I felt that bone beneath the skin was loose and incredibly painful.

Since I have to drive to get to my job, I had a hunch that might be the problem so I logged onto google.  The most useful link is http://www.rsiclinics.co.uk/ and www.myofascialreleaseclinic.com/rsi.htm.  The clinic is in the United Kingdom and describes exactly what I am experiencing currently.  Sadly the cure scares me.  It involves release massage therapy that concentrates on the trigger point where the pain originates.  That trigger point for my hands is on my back and the referred pain is what is causing the ring finger and middle finger to feel like they are wrapped together.   I have heard how painful the treatment itself is and that keeps me away from treatment.  So my balance today rests upon pain or freedom.  It is something to think about Martin Luther King Day.  Freedom....or....Pain

Until then, peace

Phrases that Caught Me Today

From 'kneehigh to a duck' to a spoonerism I can't remember right now that involved the word 'thursday' it is a good day for cool phrases.  Now if I can only remember them.

Unnerving

Seeing that family move yesterday amidst all the foreclosure signs here is unnerving.  I see plenty of people in fancy cars at Walmart these days.  I see even more people in fancy cars going to but at the cut rate food and clothing places.  Spare change lost on the pavement?  Forget it about it.

Making miracles happen

Making miracles happen ... Haiti is just the tip of the iceberg.  Organizations move into Haiti to bring in food but finding the place to store it, how to get it into the country, making the credit card companies not charge a fee so that all the monies donated actually go to the organizations they were supposed to go, getting a place to land the supplies and then the security on the ground are big issues that slow the process down.  But what I want to write about is creating personal miracles for yourself.  That's is just as difficult and logistic as the rescue of Haiti. And less well publicized.  Oh sure, there are plenty of authors who tell you that miracles are there and they are right.  We all are surrounded by them every day we wake up on the right side of the lawn.  But beyond that how do you (or I for that matter) make a miracle of a plain grey day filled with self doubt and fear of the future.

I wish I had that answer.  I would be a published author by now, I would have my dreams.  But perhaps my dreams are not the ones for me.  Perhaps my dreams are the steps I take along the way to get to my dreams.  A thought for my own day.

And certainly it may well be that.  Affirmations haven't worked for me, going to counselors hasn't help me either and certainly being laid off by my firm hasn't helped me do that either.  Most of what I have read is popular pablum.  Some authors say work on writing.  Ok, I have done that.  Some authors say identify the sort of person you are.  Ok, I have done that.  Some authors say to just make lists and then check them off.  Ok, I have done that.  None of it has worked for me.

What has worked is goes against what I have read.  Whenever I really need to do something important, see a doctor, pay a bill, go to the post box near my house, I find my pathway to doing those chores is to unclutter and rearrange the furniture.  In activity that is comforting and mindless, I find that interior space for solving problems my mind creates.

I am working on those issues.  I hope to be able to find an answer on how to do that soon.

Until then, peace

Picture of cat

This is a picture of a cat.  It looks a lot like an abandoned cat I just found when some problem neighbors left today.  Hopefully, it didn't belong to them and is just a stray.  I sure hope so.   I am only guessing the cat that was wandering by my backyard was theirs since I'd never seen it before.  So to investigate I knocked on my next door neighbor to see if they knew whether these folks had a pet.  They didn't know.  I will continue to watch for it.  Given our area, the cat could just be a stray.  If so, perhaps Buffy (my freeloader outdoor cat) will take the stray under his paw.

Musings on contact, on Shakespeare, on Haiti, on rescue, on life

Musing on watching Henry V with Sir Laurence Olivier...the charge of the English and French reminds me of that breathe of space between action and contact.  We never know how our actions will affect another until we reach that contact phase.  Truly, as individuals, we dance with one another in the sharing of ideas.  We need feedback to know how we affect others.  Personally, I never really thought I would influence others with my own personal efforts in rescue and yet...  A dog was rescued due to my talking about my efforts.  If we can change one person at a time through this effort then it is a change worth making.  Haiti is just the same way.  There are so many who doubt that change can be made by throwing money at the problem.  I agree with that situation but I have to disagree with the doubters since the caring helps, the people who are on the ground helping, those who have been there with the huge numbers of NGOs help.  Time takes time.  We expect so much in a couple of weeks and if it doesn't change, we throw up our hands and say, 'see?'  But it took Haiti over 100 years to get into this situation.  I don't think it will take 100 years to change the situation but surely it cannot be done in 100 days or less...

Thought of the Day

I have an idea that I haven't heard anyone mention throughout this Great Recession.  It is even simple.  Change the tax code to allow those over 55 who were laid off to use their 401K.  Presently, the tax laws treat any withdrawal as taxable income. So those of us who can't find jobs due to the invisible age discrimination that exists would be able to survive.  

Spots in Life

I am in love with the word 'spot.'  I have named a dog 'spot,' and now have a cat named 'freckles,' for the very same reason -- a spot on his nose.  And logging into the blog tonight the address reached out and touched me.  There is a spot in that name as well.

So, I have to ask, what is it with recurring things in life?  You know the ones.  Those times when you are thinking of someone and he/she calls you right then.  Those times when you know (just know) that you have seen something before and spoken the same words before.  And, particularly, those time when you stand on the precipice of the present and know (just know) something is about to happen.

Those are the kind of spots in my life.  And it does no good to say, as Lady MacBeth did...'out, out, damn spot.'  The spots don't listen.  The spots are eternal, stubborn and alternately cruel and benevolent.

May the spots be with you....

Just say ho

Fashion is hopelessly stuck on styles that existed 200 years ago. Baby doll smocks and faux empire looking fashions for teens were popular in the Empire era. Only then, pregnancy was to be expected and hence the looser waistlines. We were literally (at least over here) building a nation, citizen by citizen.

But the fashion is inappropriate for today.  It sends a mixed message.  Look pregnant but don't be pregnant.  What is a kid to think?

Be Water -- Bruce Lee Quotes

http://www.fightingmaster.com/masters/brucelee/quotes.htm

Above is a link to quotes from Bruce Lee. They help me get through the week when it is tough to let go of anger. He is a balancing point and shames me to write better.

wiki

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wicked_fairy_godmother

Whether wikipedia is valid or not, I am using it today simply because it is a quick and easy definition of the gifts and curses which in my world are just flip sides of one another.

Muse on Save

Save... It is an option on this webposting account. Either Publish Post or Save Now are the options. Bu the word save makes me muse on philogy and philosophy. The book I am reading, "Wrestling with Democracy," is wonderful. Well written, strong views expressed clearly and very thought provoking.  In 2008,  I listened to a story on C-Span or perhaps it was Democracy Now! about saving survivors of Nargis in Myamar (also known as Burma).  I will never know how bad conditions were in Myamar.  None of us will since news media were never allowed to come into the country to report.  That is not the situation in Haiti today.  We have reports from those literally on or under the ground....text messages, i-reports, videos sent from cell phones.  It is just another example of how we have changed.  For the good.

The pain, the discomfort, the sickness are what they are. We can always cope with the way life moves and changes. The mind of an enlightened human being is flexible and adaptable. The mind of the ignorant person is conditioned and fixed.-Ajahn Sumedho, “Seeing the Way” From "365 Buddha: Daily Meditations," edited by Jeff Schmidt. Reprinted by arrangement with Tarcher/Putnam, a division of Penguin Putnam Inc.

This is where I am today. If I focus on the soft tissue pain, the neck pain, the lower back pain, I am pain. If I focus on others, on rescue, on writing, on scheduling, on work, I am. I just am.....

Unemployment figures

Nationwide unemployment is at 10% but that is a statistical average.  Detroit has massive unemployment -- far above 10%.  And huge segments of our populations have 20% to 30% unemployment.  And no help in sight as yet.  The media could be covering this but they are not.  They could be focusing our attention upon starvation in America, but they are not.  We all know people who are homeless.  We all know that but for the grace of grace we could be those people who are homeless.  But the media gets hung up on issues of irrelevancy -- like the mis-spoken words of Harry Reid or what Bill Clinton said to Ted Kennedy.  Quotes that like sell books but don't feed the self esteem or bellies of those who have lost their jobs in this Great Recession.  We all of people who gave up hunting for jobs because there were no jobs to found or they were too old for the jobs that were around.  We know those people.  We do.  And does the mainstream media say a word about it?  No.  And I don't know why that is.  I truly don't.  The skeptic in me says 'oh, sure, the reporters don't know what to say and are afraid that they will be next to be let go since the news media as we know it is changing.  So the reporters are playing it safe.'  But I don't want to believe that.  I want to know that there are more people out there like Amy Goodman of Democracy Now! who are ready and able to talk about the unemployment figures in a meaningful way.

NPR had an interview today with Jesse Jackson where he kept being asked what he thought about the quotes I mentioned above.  And he was great at redirecting the conversation back to the main point.  It is the jobs, stupid.  The jobs

This one is for Dan

The reason I started this blog was to deal with the grief from the unexpected death of my brother-in-law. And the anger. And the fury at the cancer that killed him. Thank god he had health insurance but in his case it wasn't very helpful. The blog helped me remember Dan in my own way which was limited by the distance we lived apart. One of us in Boston, one of us almost inside the beltway in DC. Joined by a passion for my sister and politics and words and cats and justice. Justice says a lot about Dan. He was incensed by the local newspapers being bought up by conglomerates which never reported local news in depth. And never gave full facts. He took us to one of the historic villages in Massachusetts that made clothe in the 1840s. Humbling experience. I'd read about this town but seeing it was a revelation. How can people say we don't need unions or a voice for the workers when they look at places like that village. Here is the link to the town itself,

History of Lowell, Massachusetts - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Lowell, Massachusetts is considered the Cradle of the American Industrial Revolution, as it was the first large-scale factory town in America. ... en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Lowell,_Massachusetts - 71k - Cached - Similar pages - Note this

I just wish I'd had more time to get to know him better. To talk with him about the election. To rage at the outrages of the politicians. May your apple grove be filled with blossoms and your fruit be sweet, Dan, where you are now. Amen

Taking the Long View

The current financial crisis (and the hurry-hurry of the world in general) bothers me. Everyone wants to have luck immediately. Everyone wants to be rich as soon as possible. The word "wants" is operative here. We all want stuff. I want my own home and not be bugged about how many cats I can have. I want to be a published writer of serenity tales and humorous drawings and not have to do mundane things like work full time to pay the rent. I want, I want, I want.....

Hah!  However, what I need is completely different. For a long time I have been confused about what is a want and what is a need. But I have figured it out.  My cats and I need food, a roof over our heads, and other things like clothes, catnip and grooming supplies. I need a car to carry around the cats and me on trips to the vet and a car to help get FOHA animals to the vet and do the at home checks prior to adoption.  I need a car to get to my consulting jobs.  I don't need much but I want the world.

May 2010 be the year that my needs truly become my wants....
Until then
peace

The History of Coffee

Here is a book I need to look for. It is the calendar, "History of Coffee." I listened to an interview with the creator. Things I never knew...coffee was funded by Lloyds coffeehouse patrons who also funded the ship masters who bought slaves in Africa and took them to coffee plantations. The creator said a phrase that has additional meaning ... 'taking the bitter with the sweet.' And isn't that a tale of just what life is about.

Catching Fire

Such an evocative phrase...catching fire. It is unpredictable though. Fire, I mean. Trying to start a fire with wet wood, a closed flue, a faulty draught is hard. My father taught me to light fires when I was eight years old. In those prehistoric days, it was common practice to take paper trash outside to the big stone open pit and burn them. We did the same thing with leaves and dead wood.

Starting a fire like that now would require so many permission slips and county allowances that the paper for one fire would be more than I used to burn each week. I wonder where I was when all these rules were passed to 'protect' me. I certainly wasn't paying attention.

I am a late bloomer. I caught fire late in life with the economic turndown. Just in time to appreciate the irony of being 58 and to young to collect from my IRA without severe penalties.  It just sucks that the administration didn't shift the rules to allow those of us who were let go in stealth 'let's get rid of the employees over 55' attitude that business has taken during this Great Recession.  It really does!

It seems a shame that we cannot get rid of the deadwood in Congress who refuse to realize this fact.

Thank God for YouTube

Watch this....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qp-yRI_HJoM

Take two laughs and call your representative in the morning

Things I never thought I'd say

I have just finished hearing the state of the state messages from California, New York and Massachusetts.  I can't wait for Virginia to weigh in.  All of these states are basically broke.  They have staggerly large budget deficits.  And in this kind of economic environment, the logical thing would be to cut back where possible.  So why is the government getting ready to pass out more foreign aid?  I don't understand.  I mean in good times I can understand giving money to countries who are less well off.  I truly can understand it.  But given the fact that much of the foreign aid never reaches the people it is meant to reach, it is not cost effective.  The Peace Corp is effective.  Working alongside people and teaching them how to grow better crops, how to survive in environments where water is scarce.  Those are useful endeavors.

So never thought I would say this.  I am against foreign aid.  I am against it until we are economically recovered.

Holding our Breathe

Since 9/11, I believe we all have held our breathe waiting for the next shoe to drop. Or for underwear to blow up.  Truly this is an irony my mom would appreciate.  She always said wear clean underwear since you never know when you may have to be taken to a hospital.  A collective asthma of fear grips us instead of the humor of the situation, though.

Personally, I believe that our security organizations are justifying their existence by coming up with new and expensive ways of checking people in.  New names for old things.  Hand pats are so much better and so much cheaper.  But we opt for new technologies that are expensive and fail us -- thus costing even more when people die.  And the organizations created to protect us?  Hah!  They continue to claim that the vertical stack of each organization is why they could not pass information along in a timely manner.  They haven't changed that whopper since 9/11.

If grassroot groups like animal rescue can set up and create successful animal rescue runs by posting them online and requesting drivers, then surely there can be no excuse for governmental agencies claiming that they cannot do the same thing.  So why don't these groups set up inter-intra-communications?  Because the process of sharing requires something secret keepers cannot do.  They cannot admit weakness.  And they view laterally reaching out as failure.  Put simply reaching out scares the hell out of these groups.  I have to ask, since when have we become so scared of our own fellow Americans who also have sworn oaths to uphold the United States of America?

And this asthma of fear on the governmental level is intolerable.  Surely, with the economic failures of the past year and the failure of the Bush or current administration to address it properly, there are plenty of people who are angry and frustrated.  This is not a good situation.  It certainly creates an environment friendly to those who would recruit suicide bombers.  It won't take long before we find attentat actions and anarchism in the country.  The hell with the foreign terrorism.  The U.S. has a long history of taking action for itself.  The killing of President Garfield?  A disgruntled favor seeker.  The blowing up of the Murrah building in Oklahoma City?  A disgruntled vet protesting the Waco incident.

It seems to me that progress is just renaming of things to sound new.  The writer of Ecclesiastes had it right.  See this link to the full quote as printed in Bartelby's  http://www.bartleby.com/108/21/1.html  This is wisdom literature that we, sadly, lack in this time of 24/7 news bites.  Nothing can be learned in this environment.  But perhaps we can change in 2010.  I pray that is so.

Happy New Year folks and may peace rain down softly upon us.

until then
namaste

Rescue Thoughts

It is hard to know who rescues
Whom when I care for my three
rescued cats.  Them or me...
Comfort food for the soul.

Gifts of Grace

Rescue Daily

I stop and pat my shy cat
She stops, purrs,  turns
and starts to eat


Comfort Food

Wish I May, Wish I Might have Sweet Dreams

Dreams...tricky things.  Currently I am on a medication that intensifies dreams while allowing me to be anxiety free while I am awake.  Still not too sure if it is a good thing to be dream-ambushed by anxieties I have chemically repressed during the day.  I feel much better than before but there is a lot to be said for the way I was before -- twitchy, perhaps -- but not a dream I could remember in the morning.

That is not to say that my sleep was that good before.  Now I sleep much better, even with the dreams and all the cats trying to wake me up in the middle of the night.

So be careful what you wish for and
sweet dreams

Until next time,
peace

Not being too ....

Not being too scattered this year.  Heck, it's only day 3.  It stands to reason I will be scattered one day soon but for now I am, thankfully, focused and looking into new kinds of work.  One of those is narrating audio books.  I need to find out what sort of equipment one needs to do this and record a sample to send places.  It is a cut-throat business -- more so than the regular publishing but with print books and newsprint on the decline, it may be the only avenue.  I always loved listening to Boris Karloff read the "Reluctant Dragon" when I was young.  I began reading for audiences 'way back in high school but got more interested in it when my kids were born.  And I got hooked on reading out loud after I heard the first audio tapes of children's stories back in the 1990s.  Wondrous stuff.  Truly made an impression on my reading style.

My current victims--ahem--listeners, are my cats.  They get pretty cranky some nights and reading really mellows them out.  So I will explore this and find out more.  Stay tuned.  Or as the radio announcer used to say on Laugh In...oh heck, what was it he used to say?  I will report on that later.

Until then
peace

Bird count so far

Fascinating year so far.  The first bird I saw was one low flying goose which is really odd since our area is chock full of crows and mourning doves.  Geese normally fly in squadrons to and from the area lakes.  So this one-fer was unusual.

The second bird was a low flying red tailed hawk.  At least I think it was a hawk.  It is sort of hard to ask them to identify themselves.

When it is raining cats

When I am out of sorts, I work with photos to cheer up. I have a camera cell phone and use it for all my pictures.

Get Rid of Bad Breath - wikiHow

Get Rid of Bad Breath - wikiHow

How to Get Rid of Bad Breath

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

There are many ways to cover up bad breath, but if you're tired of quick fixes and want to banish halitosis once and for all, take these instructions to heart--or should we say mouth?

Steps

1. Clean your mouth thoroughly, regularly. Two major sources of mouth odor are bacteria and decaying food particles. There are hundreds of nooks and crannies in the landscape of your mouth where these offenders can get lodged. Brushing is not enough.
   
   • Clean your tongue. Your tongue, unfortunately, is like a shaggy carpet where all kinds of smelly stuff can hide.[1] When you brush your teeth (which should be at least twice a day) use your toothbrush, the edge of a spoon, or a tongue cleaner to "scrape" your tongue.
     
     • If you have a sensitive gag reflex, you might not like this task. You need to clean your entire tongue, including the part close to your tonsils. Read How to Suppress the Gag Reflex for some tips.
       
     
     
   • Floss. Make it as much of a mindless habit as brushing your teeth. At first, your gums might bleed as you dislodge chunks of food that have "stuck" to your teeth and gum for who knows how long. But take a second to smell the floss after you pass it through your teeth, if you dare. You'll see (or smell) where the bad breath is coming from.
     
   
   
2. Keep your mouth moisturized. A dry mouth is a stinky mouth. That's why your breath is worse in the morning; your mouth produces less saliva as you sleep. Saliva is the enemy of bad breath because not only does it physically wash bacteria and food particles away, but it also has antiseptic and enzymes that kill bacteria.[1]
   
   • Chewing gum stimulates saliva production (in addition to covering up the odor with some kind of scent). Mints do not encourage saliva production.[1]
     
   • Drink water. It won't necessarily increase saliva production, but it'll wash out your mouth and it's good for you. See How to Drink More Water Every Day.
     
   • Dry mouth can be caused by certain medications and medical conditions. Ask your doctor about switching medications, or addressing the underlying condition.
     
   
   
3. Choose your gum carefully. As mentioned in the previous step, any gum will help with bad breath because the chewing action results in more saliva being produced. Some gums, however, have better bad-breath-fighting abilities than others:
   
   • Cinnamon flavoring seems to be especially effective in reducing bacteria counts in your mouth.[1]
     
   • Look for gum sweetened with xylitol. For one thing, sugar's not good for your mouth. Xylitol is a sugar substitute that actually works to prevent bacteria from replicating in the mouth.[1]
     
   
   
4. Eat a banana You probably already know to avoid notorious stink foods like onions, garlic, cheese, and coffee (or at least brush vigorously after eating them). But did you know that if you're on a low-carb diet, you might have "ketone breath"?[1] Basically, as your body breaks down fats instead of carbs for energy, it creates ketones, some of which are released in your mouth. Unfortunately, ketones smell bad, and so will your breath. If you're on a strict carb-restricting diet, or any diet that forces you to burn fat instead of carbs, consider throwing healthy carb-rich snacks into the mix, like apples or bananas.
   
   • This will also happen to anyone who fasts, whether for religious reasons, or because they are anorexic. If you are anorexic, bad breath is only one of the reasons to stop starving yourself. Read How to Cope if You Want to Become Anorexic.
     
   
   
5. Talk to a doctor. If you've followed the above steps diligently and the bad breath persists, you may have a medical issue that needs to be treated. Here are some of the potential culprits:
   
   • Tonsil stones. These are lumps of calcified food, mucus and bacteria that appear as white spots on your tonsils. If seen, they can be mistaken for a throat infection, although sometimes they are not visible to the naked eye. You might also notice a metallic taste in your mouth, and/or pain when swallowing.[2]
     
   • Diabetic ketoacidosis. If you have diabetes, it may be causing your body to burn fat instead of glucose, creating the ketone breath referred to in the previous step. This is a serious condition that needs to be treated as soon as possible.[3]
     
   • Trimethylaminuria. If your body can't break down a chemical called trimethylamine, it will be released in your saliva, causing bad breath. It'll also be released in your sweat, so persistent body odor might be an accompanying symptom.[3]
     
   • Constipation is also cause of bad breath. Constipation bad breath could be due to several causes from dietary to hormonal or be even a side effect of medications and anatomical. Incidentally, normal bad breath (that is, bad breath not caused by digestive problems) may also be due to a side effect of drugs you are taking, which could dry up the mouth, causing bad breath.
     
   • Treating constipation bad breath consists in treating the constipation itself. If the problem is dietary in nature, then changing your dietary habits, laxatives, and fiber therapy could help treat the constipation and in the process the symptom of constipation bad breath. Enemas and surgery though rare may also be used to treat acute cases of constipation.
     
   
   

Video

Tips

• Mouthwash is only a temporary fix. It masks the odor.[1]
  
• If bad breath persists after following these steps, see your Dentist for a professional cleaning and advice on other steps you can take.
  

Warnings

• Do not stop prescription medication without consulting your doctor first.
  

Related wikiHows

• How to Fix Bad Breath on the Spot
  
• How to Keep a Clean Toothbrush
  
• How to Make Toothpaste
  
• How to Suppress the Gag Reflex
  

Sources and Citations

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 1.5 1.6 http://www.webmd.com/oral-health/guide/change-your-breath-from-bad-to-good


2. ↑ http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1213457/Bad-breath-It-nasty-case-tonsil-stones.html


3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/besttreatments/bad-breath-description

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Get Rid of Bad Breath. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

Chlorox (or less is more)

I have thin skin.  Very thin and very easy to damage.  Bugs know this and feast whenever I am outside even if I am wearing the strongest bug-off lotion made.  I also don't heal easily.  The wounds fester, itch and turn green when scabs form.  I explain this primarily because I re-discovered an old trick I had for healing what are known as 'hot spots' on dogs I learned with the Newfoundlands we had for years.  A solution of 2% chlorox poured on and scrubbed into the wound works well.  The skin heals cleanly.  That's what I finally had to do and the skin is now healing and I am reminded of the old saying 'less is more.'

Truly less is more.  We are (at least I am) used to finding stuff that is new. Ads push us to react instead of act aying  'Buy this perfume, buy that cleaning supply, don't worry, you can put it on your credit card,' or 'we will bill you later.'  Or my personal favorite after 9/11 when we were told to buy, make American strong, buy even if you owe thousands on your credit card, buy, buy, buy.   And for a while, I did just that, thinking I was being patriotic and not a sap.  Sigh.  So now, while I am delighted to find cool stuff, I try to walk away from the new spatula, new cooking thingie, new things, period. 

So I am especially pleased to be reminded that chlorox heals not only the outside of me, but also the inside from its smell.  It reminds me of clean sheets and houses that welcome you home.  I find I can face the fears of thousands of dollars owed on my credit cards easier when I smell clean chlorox smells.  Go figure.

So, forget the white linen and nutmeg and fancy perfumes the stores and ads are pushing.  When I need to clear my mind, I will stick to the less is more idea.....

May all beings know peace.

Not just for Zen Contemplation --- Seeing

Eyesight...A lot of what I do from organizing, admin/clerical consultations, driving, caring for cats and yes, reading needs good eyesight.  Sigh.  I forgot all about taking care of my eyesight during the tumultuous events of the past year.  So now, I live with my glasses perched on top of my head and squint suspiciously at newsprint, boilerplate, instructions, menus and my beloved books.  I see better up close than I ever did before which tempts me to go without glasses entirely.  But, no.  My eyes are not that much better.  The middle distance and far distance hasn't improved that much.  So today I will call my optician and steel myself for the cost of new specs.  Yerg....I am sure with the cost of everything else going up the glasses will be more expensive and they were never cheap since I had the eye sight of a bat before.  Maybe I can work on my echo location....eeek, eeek

Organic Organizing...

Organic organizing...that's what I do.  It is not so much planned as evolved to see what will work within a person's habitual patterns and what will work with their own workroom layout.  Because it is organic, I cannot predict how it will eventually turn out but it will be easy to use and easy to find things since it is the intuitive manifestation of what works for each individual.  And in a lot of ways, it is recycling with a view towards re-purposing things that were left behind as bad ideas and stored in basements or attics.  Whole house, whole organizing, whole serenity and whole person.......

Furthermore

Furthermore, as the resident paranormal type person in my family which readers of this blog know, I get dreams when something important is going to happen. Stubborn dreams that come back often depending on what is going to happen.   Before my mother-in-law died earlier this year, I dreamed of her best friend, Ethel, waiting for her.  With my dad, I dreamed a few months back of my cousin, Bud, waiting for him.  That was why I went out to Ohio this August.  Tough trip for a number of reasons but I was glad to make it because I knew the dream meant something was going to happen before the year was out.  And as it happens, the night before my dad's stint failure, I couldn't sleep.  I remained awake from midnight to 5 in the morning.  Why?  I don't know.  I kept thinking something was going to happen and was wide awake throughout the next day.  I was puzzled by it but figured I would find out what was going on.  I got a call from my sister yesterday evening to let me know what had happened and then things made sense.  Tonight I learned that without Eva arguing with the ambulance driver and forcing them to take my dad to the right hospital, he would have died.  Tonight I learned that things happen the way that they happen ... bashert.  Meant to be.  Truly remarkable.

Bashert Word of the Day

 "Bashert" is a yiddish word that means "meant to be."  The cantor of our synagogue has the word on his license plate and for years I thought it meant something romantic like "blessing."  I suspect that blessing is close to 'meant to be' for the torah that survived the holocaust recently installed in a Florida synagogue.  Truly a blessing when you think of how single-minded the destruction of the evidence of Jews was.  Truly.  But bashert is more than that for me today.  My dad survived another failure of the stints in his heart.  Completely unexpected and totally fatal if the failure isn't corrected in a certain time frame.  Luckily, for him, his wife was home and called the ambulance that got him to the hospital in time.  Luckily, he is covered by health insurance.  Luckily, he is well known by that hospital staff and all his records are there as well as his doctor.  And, luckily, his wife is a forceful woman argued with the ambulance driver who was prepared to follow the letter of the law and take my dad to a hospital that was .3 miles closer than the one my dad was so well known at.  Luck?  Honestly, I don't know.  Perhaps bashert is a better definition of what happened.  Perhaps it was meant to be that Eva is outspoken.  Perhaps it was meant that my dad met her just before his first heart incident that caused the stints to be put in initially 9 years ago.  Perhaps it was meant that Eva was home yesterday morning.  Bashert...a good word for the day

Wake Up Calls

After 9/11, the dark humor in the offce was 'would you jump from a window holding your co-workers hand.'  It was a sobering thought then and even more so now. Hard to believe, even now, that people had to make that choice.  It was tragic. 9/11 was one of the major wake up calls of my life.

Aftermath--the Collapse of Civility

Holy God, I am watching 102 minutes of 9/11.  Raw feed and really powerful.  It brings back all the feelings again.  The loss of trust, of innocence,  of the belief that everything would always be ok.  It took the hijackers years to realize but the fall of the towers finally brought down the financial center it targeted on 9/11 in 2008-2009.  We are told that what caused the financial collapse was housing or reckless lending practices.  I don’t believe so.  I believe that the loss of faith in the nation caused by 9/11 made people look out for themselves more and the rest of society less.  9/11 fed the native greed of the Street because, at the end of the day, only one can live. This attitude caused a trickle down effect.  From Wall Street to Main Street, from corporations moving their operations off shore so they didn't have to be US tax or health care costs for their employees.  It did it through health insurance and drug companies charging extraordinary prices for needed drugs and treatments.  It did it through companies refusing to pay a living wage to their workers.  It did it through the erosion of trust in public organizations--the Red Cross scams to the government agencies telling people that the air quality was just fine to breathe.  Air filled with toxic debris and the atomized remains of the people who were in the Towers and the government says it is fine to breathe the air.  First responders dying of aerosol related diseases and they are told they cannot be dying of injuries from helping out at the World Trade Center.  It is truly despicable for lies like this to be told.  New Yorkers were told it was fine to breathe even as the windows in their buildings were washed several times to remove the crushed bone and blood sprayed by the cloud storm that came from the Twin Towers.  The government failed to help those affected, both the bystanders and the first responders, in New York, DC and Pennsylvania.  It took Bush the better part of a week to arrive in New York City and DC is not that far away.  9/11  was just prelude to the massive failure of the feds in New Orleans--trailers filled with toxic chemicals to trying to keep the blacks from returning to their homes in New Orleans.  And again, it took Bush a full week to arrive down in New Orleans.  Now in 2009 we see the collapse of civility in the halls of Congress during a President address.   Rep. Wilson who yelled “liar” needs more than just a slap on the wrist. Unbelievable.  No President has ever been yelled at in the chambers of Congress.  Never.  Representative Joe Wilson never truly apologized, never said he spoke out of turn, ever.  His actions were shameful.  But the true beginning to Rep. Wilson's incivility stems directly back to the collapse of the Towers, the collapse of trust in the government and the collapse of the economy.  9/11 was the just the beginning.

Tributes

God bless Senator Kennedy and others for keeping the faith and inspiring this President to reach for the stars.  It made sense for his widow Vicki Kennedy to be there tonight with the Kennedy children.  What a wonderful tribute to her, to him, to the children and all those who keep the faith of making the world a better place than you find it.

Oh, my god, the President's Speech was Amazing

Chores tomorrow now include finding a full and complete transcript of President Obama's speech.  Wow!  Words fail me.  I kept cheering (all alone, in front of the TV) and doing thumb's up and whistling.  Mind you, I think the cats were entertained.  But what a remarkable -- fulsome -- strong -- in your face speech.  My god I didn't think politicians had the guts anymore.  The C-Span website has the full text now online.  Read it, digest it and support him.

Sitting

Sitting (not just for meditation anymore).  No sirree. Sitting is for watching the President use the bully pulpit to encourage the national discussion on healthcare.  This is going to be fascinating.  President Obama is an amazing speaker -- no matter whether he is in lecture or campaign mode.  Truly the best speaker (non-actor) of I have heard since the Kennedy's. 

Juxtaposition ...my word of the day

Some people can realize moments, capture the grandeur, with photos.  Others explore our universe through use of words.  Tonight there were both on...Oregon's program chronicling the work of Art Wolf and his photography right before President Obama.  Fascinating juxtaposition

Travels to the Edge

I just discovered Art Wolf on a PBS Travels segment.  He has an amazing eye and command of how to make remarkable scenery  working in the margins of light to make a landscape into an abstract piece of art.  The program is filmed in Chile on the Antiplano.  Remarkably meditative and watching him take pictures as he kneels in the water watching him set up the photo as his reflection from the water shows a second image of him.  Truly incomparable.  Clearly, Art Wolf's Travels to the Edge is a program I am going to watch often.   www.travelstotheedge.com

Walking the Lake

Walking the Lake...peace = interior quiet = beauty = today.  From the worse traffic this morning to the soul knitting walk I had at our area Lake.  Fall is coming and I can see the final burst of flowers and plants taking advantage of the sun before the day's get shorter.  It is breath-takingly lovely.  One of those days that make being alive worthwhile if only to delight in the magnificence of the last days of summer. 

Today in Numbers

Today is September 9, 2009 (or 9-9-09).  Numerologically it is fascinating 9-9-9.  As I cruised through the tv channels hoping to find something to watch on the 50 some stations I can get.  No luck.  However, I slowed down at an evangelical station whose announcer-type person talked about how 999 was the reverse (dah!) of 666 which is significant as well.  Apparently the devil has dibs on 666 and 999 is the reverse of that which according to this program means that anyone opposing a 999 person would be overthrown.  Encouraging thought but I have never liked my own numerological reading and by extension am not really impressed.  It just goes to show that I will watch anything when I am bored.

Gravesight / Grave Site

The funeral has reached Arlington Cemetery in the twilight of the day.  All that is visible are the gleaming whites of the honor guard and the gold glints of their many medals.  It is so tough to watch because it must be unimaginably hard for those who are participants of the ceremonies.  Being at funerals before when bodies are placed into the ground is devastating.  Perhaps that is why I watch this so closely so I can continue my own process of healing from the deaths in my family this year and the deaths at the cattery.  The priest at the gravesite has said the kindest of all...that it is somehow fitting for a funeral to take place in the twilight in the promise of the light of the next day after the darkness of the night. 

How to....

Here is the link to the subject how to perform the sign of the cross.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sign_of_the_Cross

Apparently, there is some debate on whether it is the right shoulder to left shoulder or left shoulder to right shoulder. Either way is correct. Good. I have been feeling out of step on this issue for quite a while. Because I was raised 'high church' Episcopalian, the doctrine teaches the sign to be done right shoulder to left shoulder. It feels right to me since my hand ends up over my heart which has a special meaning for me. The article goes on to say that modern Christians cross themselves left to right. And those who are old church cross themselves right to left. It is a good article and a good resource.

Here is the article that inspired the Tears note

Article of the Day
Tears
Human beings produce three basic types of tears: basal tears, which lubricate the eye to keep it clear of dust; reflex tears, which wash out irritants, like onion vapors, that come into contact with the eye; and psychic tears, which result from strong emotions or physical pain and have a different chemical makeup than those created for lubrication. Though tearing as an emotional reaction is considered by many to be a uniquely human phenomenon, some studies suggest that what animals cry too? More... Discuss
Article of the Day provided by The Free Dictionary

Crossings

Crossing ... used to be a simple word for me. Crossing streets, crossing t's, crossing my eyes. Today's funeral reminds me that I cross myself when I say 'amen.' Head, chest, right, left. No, that is not written wrong. It is how I cross myself. Maybe I am dyslexic, maybe I never learned the right way, maybe that was the way I was taught by my Episcopalian minister. Head, chest, right, left. I do it every time I pass a dead animal on the road before calling the animal control number for the folks who clear the car-struck bodies of deer. If the road is no too busy and the animal involved is a crow or a squirrel, I will stop and pick up the body myself, wrap it in a towel I keep handy and take it home to bury. So I feel strange watching so many people do the gesture a different way and yet it is just as valid as mine is. Probably more correct, too. I can accept it. I hope they (that amorphous 'they') can accept my way as well.
May all beings know peace.

Interesting Article of the Day from The Free Dictionary

Today's article is about tears. Now that I write the word, I realize that tears are not only the wet streaks left after an argument or a cut or a funeral. Tears can also be read as "tears" in the fabric of clothe, a wound, the end of a discussion as in 'that tears it.' And certainly Senator Ted Kennedy's funeral today is full of both kinds of tears. Those from seeing the reaction of the people who are standing in today's 86% humidity and 86 degree heat here in DC to watch the motocade to those brave souls in Boston standing in the heavy rain from Hurricane Danny. The weather itself grieves and weeps its own tears. Up north in rain, down here in sweat. And in both places, tears fall from all. It is all so sad. Crickets chirp in the background of C-Span. I love the sound of crickets. I gauge the seasons by them. The louder they are, the nearer to the end of summer we are. We are all seeing the end of an era. May we still be around to witness the rise of another and may all beings know peace.

Saying Farewell to Ted Kennedy

Like the fishermen of Lake Erie, Senator Kennedy has not left us. He has just sailed on ahead.

On the loss of Ted Kennedy

Open letter to the family.......

You have my deepest sympathy for your loss. Your family has given so much to this country that it is unimaginable that the last brother has left us. Born in the 50s, I came of age in the 60s and 70s and all the while watched the news, seeing you all and feeling that here was a family who would fight for those who had no voice, protect the rights of others. Doughty fighters, eloquent speakers, capable of reaching hearts through words and smiles. And if the senator could do that from what could seem an unapproachable place as a United States Senator, then what kind of impact must he have had on close friends and closer family? Your loss is devastating and yet you continue. That's what I think of when I think of the Kennedy's ... loving life, living life, sailing on through storms and high waves. You are all profiles of courage. Thank you for allowing us to share in your loss and to continue to reach out even in your pain. You are all amazing. May you all find peace.

Compass

See post below on finding self. Still searching for that compass. I have been through all the self help therapies known to man and paranomal. From talk therapy, medications, aa, brain scans, spinal taps (no fun), journals, 4 steps, 5th steps, boundary work, chakra work, tai chi, soul retrieval and rewritten the life plan with the higher self. So far the best therapy advice I have ever gotten has been from watching my cats. They don't sweat the small stuff. I move a table, ho hum. I move them, sigh. I don't take them out for a walk (now that's where they draw the line). So they choose their fights. And know themselves and what they want. Eventually, they have taught me that working with others is more effective than working alone, that working with concrete things instead of ideas is far better for me, and that rubbing up against what I need sometimes works just as well as aladins' lamp. For me the cattery is like that. But just like Aladins' lamp, it helps to make sure that what you wish for is something you really need. Perhaps the best curse for current times is to be careful what you wish for...you might get it and then the consequences will come calling for you.....

Just took me by Surprise this Morning

Surfing has a way of creating balance for me. For instance, this morning as I was slurping coffee, I found this article on wikipedia....and it said that it was ok to reprint here. My particular favorite line is
Love many, but trust few; always paddle your own canoe

How to Find Yourself

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Finding yourself is an enlightening experience. You become self-sufficient. You can do things for others without any expectations of return. You are no longer a needy child and you become utterly grateful for all those things people have done for you in the past. Finding yourself is a time of developing a philosophy or belief system that can carry you through the rest of your life. When you love yourself and who you are, you will savor and enjoy both life's pain and pleasures. How do you know you've found yourself? You will be able to help others find themselves. Finding yourself is not easy, but how can you be yourself if you've never felt connected to who you are, and you want to find whatever makes you you, then read on.

Steps

1. Start with a clean slate. Develop your own moral conduct and practice sticking to it. Remove vice from your life. Smoking, over-eating, and over-drinking will prevent you from functioning at your peak. Remember, you can't drive your life forward if you are always gazing through your rearview mirror!
   
2. Now that you have a clean slate and you realize some people still think you stink: Forget about what everyone else thinks! You cannot please everyone. While you might not want to disappoint the people close to you, they should want you to be happy. As long as you continue to exist to fulfill other people's ideas of who you should be, you'll never know your true talents. "He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away." - Raymond Hull
   
3. Find solitude. Get away from the expectations, the conversations, the noise, the media, and the pressure. Take some time each day to go for a long walk and think. Plant yourself on a park bench and look. Take a long, thoughtful road trip. Whatever you do, move away from anything that distracts you from contemplating your life and where you want it to go. In solitude, you should feel independent and self-sufficient, not lonely, needy or afraid.
   
4. Ask yourself every question in the book, questions that are difficult, that dare to look at the big pictures, such as:
   
   • If I had all the resources in the world - if I didn't need to make money - what would I be doing with my day to day life and why? Perhaps you'd be painting, or writing, or farming, or exploring the Amazon rain forest. Don't hold back.
     
   • What do I want to look back on in my life and say that I never regretted? Would you regret never having traveled abroad? Would you regret never having asked that person out, even if it meant risking rejection? Would you regret not spending enough time with your family when you could? This question can be particularly difficult for some people.
     
   • If you had to choose three words to describe the kind of person you'd love to be, what would those words be? Adventurous? Loving? Open? Honest? Hilarious? Optimistic? Realistic? Motivated? Resilient? Don't be afraid to pick up a thesaurus. Don't be afraid to choose words that are considered negative. Sometimes your traits that others don't like become useful only in emergency situations or are valuable to the job you are meant to perform. If you do have a truly negative trait work on redirecting that energy to something positive. Exercising compensates for many bad habits and there are hobbies for almost every vice. Pole dancing is becoming a hobby! Don't wash your clothes much? Try camping.
     
   
   
5. Write down your answers. Beyond your time alone, it's easy for these thoughts to slip to the back of your mind and be forgotten. If you have them written down, then every time you reflect, you can review your notes and take it a step further, instead of answering the same questions all over again.
   
6. Act upon your newly discovered knowledge. Do the things that you want to do! Pick up those water-colors. Write a short story. Plan a trip to Mombasa, Mt Kenya, a walk at Nairobi Safari Walk. Have dinner with a family member. Start cracking jokes. Open up. Tell the truth. Whatever it is that you've decided you want to be or do, start being and doing it now.
   
7. Be ready for dead ends. Finding yourself is a journey, not a destination. A lot of it is trial and error. That's the price you pay in return for the satisfaction you receive: More often than not, you hit a bump in the road, and sometimes you fall flat on your face. Be prepared to understand and accept that this is a part of the process, and commit to getting right back up and starting over. It's not going to be easy - it never has been for anybody - but if you learn to see that as a chance to prove how much you want to find yourself, then you'll find fulfillment and security in your pursuit. When you are yourself, everyone will respect you more and treat you kindly. Best of all, you will always feel good about yourself.
   

Tips

• Love many, but trust few; always paddle your own canoe.
  
• You're never as bad or as good as people say.
  
• Resist the urge to feel like you're the only one going through this:All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naive. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself. ~ Ralph Ellison, "Invisible Man"
  
• Be yourself and make sure no one influences who you are. It will make finding yourself even harder since people are influencing who you think you are.
  
• Don't be afraid to sleep on it. There's no hurry in making decisions, and you'll be more likely to make good ones if your mind is calm and rested.
  
• Be forgiving and learn to let go.
  

Warnings

• Don't spread bad gossip or otherwise speak ill about other people. Knocking others down is not the path to self-knowledge. It only compromises your dignity as a human being and makes others dislike you.
  
• Do not let others decide for you what you are destined to do. Their path may not be the correct path for you. What works for one person may not work for the next.
  
• Don't lie to yourself and try to be someone you are not. Remember this is about being yourself. As it is important to not let family members decide, it is also important not to let society and the media push you in a certain direction, especially when it comes to your physical appearance.
  
• Don't let yourself get caught up in a habit of constantly changing who you are or how you act just to fit in.
  
• Don't feel you have to prove your worth to the world.
  

Related wikiHows

• How to Go for Your Dreams
  
• How to Be Yourself
  
• How to Let Someone Go
  
• How to Accomplish a Goal
  
• How to Switch Careers
  
• How to Recreate Your Life
  
• How to Build Character and Integrity
  
• How to Adjust to Being a Girl when You've Always Wanted to Be a Guy
  
• How to Be a Rebel
  
• How to Be Happy With Who You Are
  
• How to Be Big and Beautiful
  
• How to Cope With Being Small
  
• How to Appear Confident
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Find Yourself. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

Boots and Backsides

I am on a rant. There are a number of unresolved issues because this formal part of mourning left a huge amount of anger in me. Not surprising, really. I haven't been able to get back to Baltimore to grieve since I live in another city and can't take time from work. Being a temp pretty much means if I don't work, I don't get paid. A stark reality. I finally called my counseller yesterday to talk. Thank god. I gauge my state by how much I talk to the cars around me as I drive to work. Usually I am pretty good at letting stupid go by me. Not at the moment. So I called and discovered by talking just how angry I am. At the economy, at the behavior of people at the first shiva service, at, well, a lot of things I usually let go and let pass me by. And purr therapy? Well, it works but caring for a cat who refuses to take pain pills and is dying of cancer is hard to relax around. Tigger is/was my main purr therapist. He used to come over, butt into my arm until I made a circle for him to curl up in. Or he would climb onto my chest when I was reading in bed and fall asleep. He is visibly changed now. Smaller, scruffier, and the change is immense. I just started him on the pills after last Thursday's biopsy. Now a week later, he has lost weight and fur condition and is not the massive cat I am used to seeing. But he still gets around, isn't meowing in pain, eats like a pig and drinks water. Not being a pet whisperer and cat psychic, I don't really "know" what he is feeling. I can only observe. So yes, I am tense, I am ready to boot a backside just to get some of the anger out. And I know that attitude is not who I am. It is a reflection of what I am going through. And it is a part of the road to mourning. And will be a part of the road from mourning. Life is a journey, death a destination and we are given much along the way....

May all beings know peace.

Renewal and Sitting Shiva

We renew a lot of things during our lives. Insurance policies, lawncare, contracts with landlords, phones all have renewal policies. Cancel is not a pretty word. Either to hear or to say. We renew vows of love on anniversaries and Valentines' Day. Renewal is a two faced word. It is all about making a choice to start over and refill our safety net we weave each day in relationships we have with friends and things around us. So how do we handle renewal of soul when we are unable to mourn with people around us. Sitting shiva for Bess is tough. Tough because we don't know the people who are coming to comfort us. Are they friends of Bess's, members of the synagogue or caring people at all? Or are they voyeurs in the business of grieving? Do they come instead to gawk at the things in Bess's life and exude envy as they point and stare? It is impolite to stare at any time and especially when prayers are going on in one room and we have to keep watch not only on the Rabbi but on the people supposedly coming to sit with us. Perhaps people no longer know their manners. That's a slam we usually say of young people. But these people who stare are over 60 and some are over 70 and a few are up over 90. You would think someone would have pulled them aside and said, "enough." I plan to put up large signs when I die about how to behave. No pointing, no nasty asides about the people who are actually there to grieve. Nothing to distract from the process of processing a loss. I probably should have a written waiver that if someone says they will behave and doesn't will be invited to leave immediately by someone who is allowed to put a boot up their backside. Since when do mourners need bodyguards? It is a sad time. Much gets revealed when we lose someone. Ugly, sublime, coddies and dairy platters. All of it is part of the swirl of life and death. And renewal? That will have to be a personal journey, at least for me. Communities ... communal grieving ... well, it is as good as the trust that is involved, isn't it? Tough. I will keep you posted on how to find renewal as I find it along the path. Life is a bumpy road...sometimes the landing is hard to deal with than the view at the top of the bump. Sometimes the view is better. Up and down....

Hmmmm, shoulder pads and stock market buys

All I need now is for the 40s fashions to come back...the shoulder pads are sure handy in distributing the load. Perhaps those clowns who say god won't give you more than you can handle are the ones who came up with shoulder pads in clothing for those who live in tough times. High fashion reflects the eras. Shoulder pads for the 30s and 40s. None for the 20s. Shoulder pads came back briefly in the 80s. Common wisdom indicates that as the stock market plunges the fashions change. Today's shoulder pads seem to be in hair styles. Instead of straight and smooth, some fashion mavens are talking about fluffing up the hair since we can't do anything about fluffing up the economy. Thank god I am not a fashionista. My hair is fluff-less. It snarls instead. So the hair equivalent of shoulder pads won't work for me. What will I do? Probably buy stock in shoulder pads. Anybody know their NASDAQ number?

Well Meaning Clowns and ...

The well-meaning clowns among us say that god never gives you more than you can handle.
Yup. That's why I have a well-developed phobia about clowns. The cream pie in the face routine is funny to watch. Not funny or fun to live. Two hours after Bess died, I heard the biopsy results for my cat Tigger. Squamous cell cancer is a clown I never heard of before. SCC is lethal to cats when it presents in the mouth. Palliative care is the best we can do for them. I run towards a fight and I am running towards this one with one hand wrapped around the pain meds and the other squishing up food for him to eat. As long as the fight is in the cat, I will fight with him.

Thank God for my Mom-in-Law

Bess would have cringed to be called a mom-in-law. June Cleaver she wasn't. She died on Monday, February 23rd.. Not suddenly as she would have wished. Hers was tough stuff. A death fought by every tube, every breathe and every eye blink. Very very hard. Frankly, June Cleaver is not now and never will be in Bess's weight division. Bess was a heavyweight for all her tiny size at the end. Her sense of looking the dragon of reality right in the face and raising the metaphorical fist to it...legendary. Absolutely legendary. Overwhelming in love. Overwhelming in all ways. Tough lady, you are missed and you always will have a place in my heart. Always. Flights of angels with gleaming swords came to offer you a place among them. The EMTs of the air. Blessings always...