October 10, 2007
Lucy the Lazy Star...New Story Inspired by Britney Spears
Once upon time there was a very lazy star named Lucy. She just didn't want to be bothered with anything. Moon Rise, Star Rise. Lucy poohed, poohed them both. She figured she was above being ordered around. After all, she was the subject of the Beatles song, "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds." So for years, Lucy rose when she wanted to and set when she felt good and ready. This went on for years and years until Lucy had a little baby star named Ethelbert or Bert for short. Now Bert was a very rambunctious boy star. In other words, Bert was a Brat. He was always running her ragged. Whine, whine, whine. So of course Lucy did what any mom would do. She got him whatever he whined about just to shut him up. Her only mistake was not getting two of the same things. And this is where my story begins. One night Bert was in a particularly busy mood. He had just discovered rollerblading. Boy, did he love rollerblading. He hounded Lucy for skates and she got him some. He hounded her for running around time and she let him roam around the skies with no supervision. But when he bumped into the Milky Way and hit the Cow that Jumped Over the Moon, Mother Nature decided to tie the little star to his mom and took away his Rollerblades so he would be under control. Fat lot of good that did. The very next night, Bert whined to his mom. He wanted his skates back, bad. He started to pull on her star rays and fuss about her being a bad mom. He pulled Lucy right down to the apple orchard in Antrim, New Hampshire because she didn't have any Rollerblades to distract him with. Once Lucy got low enough, Old Man Tree's apple beard caught her and her kid and held them both tight. Well, this was a mess. Lucy's star light woke up Old Man Tree and her stray star rays tickled his nose so that he started to sneeze. And when Old Man Tree sneezed, he woke up the apple tree bees who started buzzing so much they woke up little Hazel the apple tree girl whose main job was to keep the bees busy making apple tree honey so Belinda Badger could sell it at the Orchard Fair at Halloween. Once Hazel saw what was going on, she pounded on Belinda's door and woke up Belinda. Being a badger, Belinda was always grumpy after getting up, but, boy, she was glad Hazel was such a good bee watcher because otherwise her apple honey would not be made by her bees. Belinda hustled over to Nicolas Weatherby's office where he was star gazing and told him they needed to figure out a way to get the mom star back in the sky. He called the Starshine Catapult School where shooting stars get shot into space and arranged for a special transport to the School for the very next launch. And so, the shooting star the folks in Appleton saw that night was Lucy the Lazy star and her kid. Which only goes to show that no matter how big or lazy a star you are, no matter how many diamonds you have, UNLESS you have that extra toy for your kids, they will pull you right down. So always plan ahead.