And the Answer is "Desperation"

I just saw my doctor who is amazing, caring, perceptive and patience itself when dealing with me. I always come away from seeing him with renewed hope and a sense that I am not alone. Pain is such a lonely drain. I tried to describe what motivated me to up my medication without consultation. He waved my words aside by just saying "desperation." And he is right. When I hurt and hurt and hurt and see no end to the hurt, I get desperate. Trying not to make the pain worse by holding on to it is upper level pain management for me still. So I just do the simple things like change to ergonomic mouse ware (I need to find ears for this mouse) and small keyboards so I won't have to move my shoulders so much. Myofascial freezes me into an arms at my side position (think of that show "Six Feet Under") only I am the one in the box. It is no fun. So anything that helps me loosen up -- heating pads, talking to friends, seeing my doctor when I am desperate helps. Until then,